80: Why I shaved my head, and society's double standards

[00:00:00] Hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode. I'm really excited to have you here. Just quickly wanted to interrupt before I roll the episode. I am in a bit of a pickle at the moment, and I need your help. I feel very uncomfortable asking this, but my electrical system has carked it. This is what allows me to live in the van off-grid, leading this lifestyle, running the

[00:00:28] podcast, and my business. So at the moment, I'm stuck in a caravan park having to pay rent so that I can have electricity. To replace my electrical system, it is going to cost at least $5,000. If I want high quality components, it could cost up to $10,000. It's a lot of money. I don't have

[00:00:52] it right now. I was meant to be getting $18,500 in this month from a client. Unfortunately, they're refusing to pay that invoice. So I'm really stuck. And I'm just asking if you've ever got value from this podcast, would you consider helping me raise some money so that I can replace my electrical system? It would mean the world to me. The link will be in the show notes, or you can go to the

[00:01:22] pursuitoffreedom.com.au forward slash help. Right, that's enough of my sob story. Let's roll the episode. It's going to be a good one. G'day and welcome to the Pursuit of Freedom podcast. I'm your host, Rosie Burrows, and I'm on a journey to find my freedom so that I can help you do exactly the same. Join me each week as I share the stories of everyday people who've found their own path to

[00:01:48] freedom. I'm not going to focus on job titles and accolades because I don't care about that stuff, and neither should you. I want to uncover what truly makes you tick. Who are you when you step away from society's expectations and follow your heart? I still haven't figured it out yet. Have you? Either way, buckle up because it's going to be one hell of a ride.

[00:02:16] Hello, hello, and welcome back to the Pursuit of Freedom podcast. It's been a while since I've done a solo episode, so here I am in your ear balls. Listen up because I made the brave decision just over a month ago to shave all my hair off. It was absolutely liberating. I want to share with you why I did it and also some of the unexpected responses I've had since doing it. But let's talk about

[00:02:41] my relationship with hair first because this is a really big reason of why I did it. I've only recently been reflecting on the relationship I have with my hair, and I guess it's something I've been self-conscious about, self-conscious about how I feel towards my hair. But stuff it. I'm sharing it. I hope someone feels less alone. Or that someone listening

[00:03:11] who can't relate to why someone would shave their hair off might get a bit more understanding. So, hair. I've never really appreciated my hair. I've never been particularly fond of it or thought very highly of it. I hate the feeling of hair touching my face. I actually really struggled to wash my hair regularly, as silly as that might sound. And because of that, it was always greasy,

[00:03:39] and it just looked ick. Like I didn't like the look of it, but it was there. And because I didn't like it on my face, I'd tie it back in a bun, and it would just stay there. Often I'd just leave it there for weeks at a time, and not brush it. Sometimes probably for months. That's a little bit embarrassing, but it's the truth. It was a downright nuisance, and it didn't bring me joy.

[00:04:05] And maybe six weeks ago, so not long ago, I had this realization of, huh, why do I have to have hair? Like, why am I putting up with this thing on my head that I don't even like? I have chosen to do that. I want to tell you why I had chosen to keep it on my head. Because of society's expectations and the

[00:04:30] social construct that a woman's worth is based on her physical appearance. And a large part of that is to do with our hair. So when I had this realization, a month and a half ago or so, I obsessively began watching YouTube videos about people shaving their head. And I was really concerned about looking too masculine. So I was trying to find videos of

[00:04:58] women who had shaved their head, especially women who didn't wear makeup. I didn't want to be misgendered. That's something I experienced a lot when I was in primary school, and it was really a hit to my confidence. So that was a big concern to me, people's reactions and how they'd see me. And, you know, I was getting excited, but also I wasn't ready to commit. I continued watching these

[00:05:24] videos, wasn't ready to commit because of my fear, because of people's reactions, because I didn't want to be misgendered. But then I went live on TikTok. And for whatever reason, I set this challenge with my viewers, I said, if we hit 100,000 likes on this live stream,

[00:05:47] I am going to shave my head live on TikTok. And I thought there's no way that's going to happen. Well, guess what? Almost hit 200,000 likes. Almost 200,000 likes. And I went, oh shit, I'm a person who keeps my word. I got to do this. And all of a sudden I had this online community,

[00:06:13] this online family supporting me, encouraging me to shave my head and do the brave thing. At one point there were over 200 people in this live stream. It was just truly, it was exhilarating. It was overwhelming. It was exciting, terrifying, all, all the feelings. And so two or three days after that live stream, I shaved my head live on TikTok. In fact, a salon

[00:06:41] agreed to do it for free. They shaved it, they bleached it, they did really cool artwork on it. I got to donate my hair to Wigs for Kids. And what's a little bit unusual is that I was asking people for contributions or donations, I guess you could call it, to help cover the cost of replacing my van's electrical system. So if you're a regular listener of the podcast, you're probably sick to

[00:07:08] death of hearing the automated thing that's running at the beginning and end of all the episodes at the moment. I might get rid of it. I'm over it. I'm sure you are. You get the idea. Things are a bit tough right now. And, you know, it just, it's just taken me by surprise this experience. One, that people kind of backed me to get it done. But two, how confident I now feel since getting my head shaved.

[00:07:36] I have never looked in the mirror and gone, ha, I like how I look today. Ha, I look good. You know, I've never, I have actually never had that feeling. I had that feeling after shaving my head. I just had this new vibe, this new confidence, this belief in myself that, yeah, this is me. I'm unapologetically

[00:08:02] me. So that really surprised me. And I wasn't concerned about what others thought. I was walking down the street filling a million bucks. I was, I still am walking around a bit taller and just proud of who I am. And I think people pick up on that. They're not going to say shit to me. Like, damn, this girl knows who she is. Not messing with her. And you know, the reactions I've had from

[00:08:29] people that have really surprised me is an overwhelming number of people, like quite a significant amount. Cause I live stream daily on TikTok, just for a bit of context. Some people will come in to the live stream and immediately assume I have cancer because why on

[00:08:53] earth would a woman shave her hair off? Other than if they had cancer, they were losing their hair and so shaved it off out of desperation or, or whatever the word you want to use is. That comment has come up so much. And in fact, last week I got a message from a dear listener and she's been a podcast guest too. She was concerned. She said, Rosie, I noticed you don't have any hair. Are you all right?

[00:09:23] And I was a bit conflicted. So it was lovely. She's checking in on me, but also I just got my haircut. If you see someone who's got their haircut, you go, Oh my God, are you okay? People are assuming I'm having a Britney Spears meltdown moment or that I'm really sick, that I'm ill.

[00:09:46] I've lost my mind. I need to be in a mental hospital. I'm dying. I'm here to tell you no, but isn't it fascinating that that's where people's minds go. That is such a destructive social construct. I don't think these people mean any harm when they say these things or ask if I have cancer,

[00:10:15] any of that. Sure. There's assholes out there, but the majority, no, they are genuinely concerned about me. But isn't that ridiculous? It's just hair. If they saw a guy who had short hair, they're going to be messaging. Oh my God, are you okay? If they see a guy with long hair, they're going to go, Oh my God, are you okay? Do you have cancer? No.

[00:10:40] So just reflect on that. Start questioning some of these beliefs, unspoken beliefs we hold. We just take them on without even thinking. Absolutely fascinating. I just wanted to share those couple of insights. I feel like I'm really stepping into myself. I mean, I have been every year since the day I was born and the past two years, especially, but I've just shaving my head,

[00:11:09] feels like I have taken it to a whole new level. And I can't explain why, but I do not plan on growing it out anytime soon. A lot of people have said, ah, it'll, it'll grow back. It's okay. As if, oh, you know, I know you'll regret doing this, but it won't take long to grow back. No, I've already had a haircut since getting it shaved all off. I fricking love it. I love it.

[00:11:35] I can just rinse my hair with water. I don't have to even use shampoo. I don't have to brush it. I don't have to be self-conscious about greasy hair. I don't have to feel hair on my face. I don't have to have sore scalp from my hair being tied up in a bun all the time. Feels fricking great. I love it. Might not be for you, but guess what? It is for me. I love my short hair. Maybe I'll even do a skin shave one day. What are you going to do about it?

[00:12:07] Thanks for listening. Let me know your thoughts. I'm still waiting to get some voice messages on the podcast. So don't forget to go to the pursuitoffreedom.com.au. There's a little microphone on there to leave a message, or there's also a link in the description. Don't do, go do that. And I'll catch you in the next episode. Doing this two episode a week thing is very exciting, but I'm also beginning to feel myself burning out. So we're going to see how that

[00:12:35] goes. We'll see how that goes. You might see a bit of a regularity as I figure it out. It's been so nice to talk to you, spend some time. I would like to start incorporating more solo episodes. So let me know if you like them or not, because this podcast isn't really for me. It kind of is, but actually I'm here to serve people. I could always record voice recordings just for me, for part of my healing and processing journey, right? But if I

[00:13:01] could do that on a podcasting format and help you as well, why the hell not? Talk soon. I really hope you enjoyed that episode as much as I did. I am in a bit of a pickle at the moment. My electrical system has carked it. This is what allows me to live in the van off-grid,

[00:13:25] leading this lifestyle, running the podcast and my business. So at the moment, I'm stuck in a caravan park having to pay rent so that I can have electricity. To replace my electrical system, it is going to cost at least $5,000. If I want high quality components, it could cost up to $10,000.

[00:13:49] It's a lot of money. I don't have it right now. I was meant to be getting $18,500 in this month from a client. Unfortunately, they're refusing to pay that invoice. So I'm really stuck. And I'm just asking, if you've ever got value from this podcast, would you consider helping me raise some money so that I can replace my electrical system? It would mean the world to me. The link will be in

[00:14:19] the show notes, or you can go to thepursuitoffreedom.com.au forward slash help.