78: Don't Wait, Just Do - Talking Values, Confidence and Human Behaviour with Carly Pepin

Rosie (00:45)

back to the Pursuit of Freedom podcast. Joining us today is the amazing Carly Pepin. Carly specializes in human behavior coaching.

And she combines her business experience and personal development insights to help entrepreneurs overcome obstacles, both in life and business. I think we're going to have an absolute hoot in this episode, Carly, and I can't wait. So thank you so much for joining us.

Carly Pepin (01:10)

Thank you for having me here. I'm looking forward to this.

Rosie (01:12)

Yeah. So I want to hear a bit about your background. Where did this human behaviour coaching come from? Because I'm sure that wasn't always part of your life.

Carly Pepin (01:23)

Yeah, I've definitely loved human behavior forever. I really wanted just to know why people do the things they do.

including myself. And so it's kind of been something that when I was a kid, just like I was like the consistent someone would give me an answer and I'd say why, why, why, why, why until they get exhausted with me or we've exhausted all lies or gotten to our destination. So it's been quite interesting to me. It really became an opportunity for a career. I had decided to move to Australia in, when was it? It was about like 13 years ago. And during that time I had moved there just because I was really strong.

Rosie (01:54)

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (01:58)

struggling

with my life. You know, I was just feeling really disconnected. I was anxious, depressed, all that fun stuff. And I blamed where I lived. I thought it was Los Angeles' ball, which it wasn't. So I went to Australia. I knew one person who happened to be a trades worker and was like as soon as I got there, like left town for five weeks. And then I was just alone. And when I was alone, yeah, it hit me like a ton of bricks that it's like all coming from the inside. Basically, I was a little lost and didn't

Rosie (02:00)

Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

Wow.

Carly Pepin (02:28)

know what to do but they say when the student is ready the teacher appears and I kind of accidentally found my first coach who really understood personal development and human behavior and she was able to answer a lot of questions. I got really great results within the first month of working with her and then within the first three months I was like sign me up. was like how do I get certified? Like what do do to do what you do? Because I'm absolutely loving this yeah so that's

Rosie (02:35)

Mmm.

Mmm.

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (02:55)

that's

kind of how it started and it's spiraled ever since. Like I continue to study it, understand it on all the different levels and just how we can kind of maximize our own potential, feel fulfilled on a regular basis and how others can implement that in their life as well.

Rosie (03:05)

Mmmmm

So can

you give us a bit of a crash course in human behavior? Cause I know not everybody would have heard of it and my knowledge is pretty shallow. So what on earth is human behavior?

Carly Pepin (03:19)

Yeah, so when we think about human behavior, it's basically the why we're doing the things that we're doing, right? And so we all live by a really specific set of values. They're the things that we're prioritizing on a daily basis. We may think that there are things that we should do or need to do or have to do, but the truth is, is every day you do what you want to do, you know, and it's not all the shoulds and need to, and sometimes you will do whatever it takes to get out of those because it's just not in alignment with your core values on the inside, you know, so.

Rosie (03:24)

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Yep, yep.

Carly Pepin (03:49)

Like for me, it's you just have to pull my teeth to get me to sit down and watch a Super Bowl game But if you said hey Do you want to go to a Super Bowl game live and we're gonna sit in a box and there's gonna be a lot of individuals who are you know? Business owners are making waves or doing cool things and they're looking to bring someone into their business and their life to help them out I'd like that sounds like the best idea ever I love that football game, but like a regular footy game like I'm just I just don't like it I'm not into it so if I sit there and say I should do this and I should do that and I shouldn't learn that like I'm

Rosie (03:57)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (04:18)

I'm

just beating myself up because every day I'm procrastinate and not do it. So human behavior, actually the core values that we have, it actually drives why we do things, you know? It drives how we are either supportive towards individuals or challenging. If we really feel that someone's going to support those core values, we really dive in and we embrace them. If we feel that they're going to challenge our core values, we want to push them away. We want to get rid of them. Right? And so if anyone like if someone told me, a friend who told me one time that

I

did too much personal development. And she really tried to slow me down and I was like, I appreciate what you're saying and I love you so much and like, I don't think you understand like this is my destiny. And I like, have, and there's another one who she's like, I thought you were trying to fix yourself and she goes, and then I realized you just had fun. Like you just have the best time doing it. I was like, totally. So guess who's

Rosie (04:50)

Ha ha!

Mmmmm

Yeah...

Carly Pepin (05:13)

till in my life, the one who's like, I just see this as fun for you, not the one who every day is trying to be like, get me off my destiny, right? And so that's our core values. That's what we actually intrinsically live by. And the craziest thing is every behavior you have can be explained by those core values and whether they're supported, they're challenged. It's pretty wild. Yeah. And the actions you take every day.

Rosie (05:14)

haha

Yeah.

really resonance. Yeah. It is crazy. It really,

it really is. And I'm a huge advocate for getting people to kind of uncover what their core values are. Cause I think a lot of us don't even know what they are, which sounds ridiculous, but I think a lot of us don't. So what is your advice to people for figuring out what their core values are? How do we go about

Carly Pepin (06:01)

So we are repetitive by nature as humans and we're repeating things every day that are within our core values and most important to us. So I can go and look at your life and see what your life demonstrates and every person, and by the way, this is your life purpose as well. Like your core values are your life purpose. Every person has this, nobody's missing it. You don't need to seek it. You don't need to find it. Your life's actually demonstrating what it is. like I'm really focused on either personal development

Rosie (06:03)

Mm-hmm.

Mmmmm

Carly Pepin (06:28)

I love my business or you're really finding me like spending time with my family and some friends But mostly family like that's the top priority, right? And so it's interesting because then if you look at my life and people I laugh because people know about this or like how are you doing? What's new? And I'm like, you know me I was like just new things and the same thing and I was like, but I'm really enjoying myself, right? I am repetitive by nature. I'm highly predictable. We're all like that

Rosie (06:43)

UGH

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (06:53)

So every day, if you pay attention to what you're investing the most time in, like what is it? What are the top three things that you love to invest the most time in on a daily basis? What are the top three things that energize you the most, right? Like you could be exhausted and there are certain things that you won't do because you don't have the energy for it, but there's certain things you do anyways because you know the energy comes from doing that action, right? What are those things that actually do that for you? Those are things that are meaningful, purposeful. Those are part of your value.

Rosie (07:06)

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (07:21)

You

know a great way to also check is how you spend your cash You know if you broke down your bank account every month and you look at it It's like what are you actually investing your money in because that'll be whatever your top priority is sometimes It's kids. You know there's a time when fashion was number one priority for me And you just have no idea how much I was spending on fashion. Oh boy was I fulfilled man. I loved it I still love it, but now it's business and personal development right so it's fun um and so it's like okay, so then what are the things

Rosie (07:26)

Mmm.

Mmm.

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (07:51)

things

Rosie (08:16)

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (08:21)

important to you and then we ask how we can create more of that in our lives, right? And what jobs would fulfill that, what careers, things like that. But once you start to ask those questions and you pay attention to what your life demonstrates, you're really gonna find that you're gonna see a repetitive pattern, you know, and there's usually about three to five things that you'll notice that are actually just repeating on a daily basis and those are your top priorities, your values, that's your purpose. That's it, it's so simple but all of our brain noise makes it

Rosie (08:45)

you

It is simple.

Carly Pepin (08:51)

complicated.

Rosie (08:53)

So what about when we're spending a lot of time

doing things that don't bring us joy or that are sucking energy? Because you mentioned sort of looking for the repeating patterns, but what if we're doing things with repeating behaviors that actually don't make us happy? Does that mean those things are our core values because we're doing it all the time?

Carly Pepin (08:58)

Okay.

there'll still be something in there that's feeding a value or you would 100 % stop it.

Rosie (09:16)

oooo

Carly Pepin (09:18)

You know, like I had someone there like, I just don't stop eating and I can't get rid of it. And I keep eating food all the time. And it's like, well, let's actually see what it's fulfilling for you. And it was helping them with their anxiety and they didn't have another solution. And so the food and overeating was curbing the anxiety, which was allowing them to focus on their business, which is what was most important. So without the other strategy, like they just didn't understand, right? So those are some of the different dynamics. Sometimes it's like we can be at a job that we don't

Rosie (09:38)

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (09:48)

like, but

Rosie (09:48)

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (09:49)

because it's providing the money, which is feeding again, the values that you're not willing to give up that job. And so it's really important to think like we're not these helpless creatures. You're actually doing things you don't like to get what you want.

Rosie (09:58)

Mm-hmm.

Ugh,

Carly Pepin (10:03)

We're awesome. love human behavior so much. And then the other dynamic is it doesn't mean you have to do that forever. Like basically it's like how do we shift that, right? And so there's the other dynamic where we do get stuck in a lot of shoulds and have to, supposed tos, right? Those are the things that don't energize us but will drop, right? So you'll find the things that you haven't dropped.

Rosie (10:09)

Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (10:26)

that you're still shutting yourself on potentially. There's something else behind there that's feeding the values. But if you just drop it and you procrastinate it and you're like, oh, I should do this. I need to do this. I have to do this.

Those are not values. Those are not your values, your core values. You compared yourself to one person or many individuals that have the core value there and said that I should do it that way so I can get what they have. Right. And the interesting thing is, like fitness isn't a great easy example. Right. Someone could look at someone who's super fit and be like, I need to do exactly what they do to get that body because that's what I should do. And I have to do when reality is, like when I just started doing the fitness stuff.

that

I loved. I walk the dog, like boxing, like yoga, I like rollerblading, I love volleyball, I like being outside. I'm like, if I could be outside, like that's amazing. Then I started working out so much more. And now like I'm a bit of a fitness nut, but I was never like a gym nut. So if I go and subordinate and say to be fit and in shape, I have to go to the gym, I have to go exercise, I have to lift weights. I'm not going to do it. In fact, I didn't. But when I dropped that subordination and I dropped

Rosie (11:08)

Yeah.

you

Carly Pepin (11:35)

the shoulds, I was like, well, what actually energizes me? What are the activities that do energize me? And then all of sudden I'm doing that. Right. So this is interesting. It's like when we're subordinating and we've compared ourselves to someone else, those are often the things that will really like just drop completely. And those are those goals that we never accomplish. And we don't even have any evidence that we're working on them during the day.

Rosie (11:50)

Mmm.

this is powerful. And I love goal setting. I've been talking to a lot of guests about this because I'm conflicted. I love goals, I also hate goals. And I'm not sure where I stand on how to go about it. And when this episode's released, it'll probably be around February, right? And lots of people set new year's resolutions in January and they're all gun ho and woohoo, let's do it. And then these goals start to peter off.

Now, do you think when we drop these things, it's because we don't want it? Or what you were saying, it's because it's not truly our core value, right? It's something else.

Carly Pepin (12:40)

Yeah, it's, and this is where, human behavior is simply complicated. like if I'm working with someone, I would ask them questions to dive deeper, but I'll kind of give you guys examples in a sense,

Rosie (12:44)

Yeah!

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (12:52)

Someone might have a goal to be in a relationship and I've worked with clients who have a goal to be in relationship and they're in a relationship like mid package, right? It is what it is. They love it. They're ready. They want it. I've had clients who say they want to be in a relationship and they're still years and they're still not in a relationship. Their life demonstrates that they like relationships, but that they have, they don't actually like being in a full time relationship. And once we get through that illusion, it's like we actually stopped working on being in a relationship and work on what

Rosie (13:07)

Mmm.

Yeah!

Carly Pepin (13:22)

they

really want. So you can set goals that are kind of in alignment, but like along the way, it's really about, this is really about just getting better at asking yourself quality questions where along the way to the goal, if you're just not doing anything at all.

Rosie (13:33)

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (13:37)

Right? Like, let's say you set a fitness goal and you're like, I'm going to achieve my fitness goal and lose weight and get healthy and you do nothing and you're four months in and you've done nothing. I'm going to tell you it's just not important to you. It's not. It's not. So you could sit there and you could beat yourself up left and right, left and right. Or you could see what you're actually spending your time and energy on. You know, like what are you actually investing time and energy on? Because then that's going to show me what's truly valuable because you might be social instead of prioritizing yourself.

Rosie (13:46)

That's a common one. Yeah.

Carly Pepin (14:07)

Your health. You might be actually like prioritizing sometimes people prioritize business instead of prioritizing their health and there's nothing wrong or right with either It's just to know where you're moving your energy and actions is what's most important to you If you do set that goal and four months in you're taking some actions towards it, but you're hitting some major roadblocks You've probably got some stuff like behind there You know, like I've worked with individuals who they hold on to weight like as a protection mechanism, you know

Rosie (14:12)

Hmmmm

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (14:37)

because

it's like they're like, the last time I got skinny I dated this person and it just was a nightmare and it was like the worst breakup I've ever had and I've linked it because I was so thin and it's like that's a challenge but remember their life also demonstrates to me that in that four months even though they're not reaching their goal they're consistently trying on regular basis and I'm like, okay cool something's up it's important to them important enough to invest but there's some sort of roadblock of fear I don't know what it is I got to like dig deep to get it right where there might be someone else who it's like

Rosie (14:41)

Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (15:06)

like,

yeah, I just want to lose weight. It's like, okay, what have you been doing? Nothing. How long you've been doing nothing? The past three years. And I'm like.

Okay, let's talk about what you really want and let's get this like crap out of your head, you know, like and then my next question is, is it a health risk? Are we going to shift your values a little bit or like, yeah, that different dynamics. So it's pretty it's pretty cool. Like it's definitely a practice. But like I said, it's all about really asking yourself a lot of better questions instead of just getting caught up in the shoulds, have tos, need tos. Yeah.

Rosie (15:13)

Ugh. Right.

Right, right.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Because it's so easy to get caught up in the shoulds. So easy. I fall into that a lot. I mean, over the past couple of years, I'm a lot more conscious and intentional. I question myself and go, hang on a minute. Is this something I want or do I feel like I should be doing it?

and I'm thinking about the fitness one, cause I've had fitness goals before. Like I want to lose weight. I want to get stronger. And I start resisting and not doing it. And I say to people, I should go work out. Not, I want to go work out. I should go work out.

I find that fascinating. The shoulds really detract from what we're doing. can you give us an example? I'm gonna share with you a goal that I've had for a while and I'm kind of stepping away and dropping it because I'm realizing it's probably not what I should be doing, but I'm still hanging onto it a bit. So I want to hear how you would work through this. So a goal for a long time has been to start an online course that I can run remotely. It's evergreen.

And I earn my full-time income through that.

But it hasn't happened. And this goal has been since, I'm calling it a goal, I guess it is, a goal's been since probably 2019? So it's been a while. Yeah.

Carly Pepin (16:48)

Okay. Okay.

It's been a while. Okay.

Are you are you taking actions towards it? Like do you have the course bill? Like what do you have? Anything?

Rosie (17:06)

I sometimes take action. Like I did a lot of market research, spoke to 50 people, did all the interviews and it was amazing. And then the next step was sort of like, okay, I need to come up with, you know, what's my niche, what's my value proposition. I invested in a really expensive course to help me do that. And I'd start and I go, this is too difficult. And I'd stop and then I'd start again. So the little bit of action, but a lot of stopping and starting and avoiding.

Carly Pepin (17:09)

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah.

So if it's been since 2019 and that's like the progress that you made, I'd be like, doesn't want to make a course. This girl's not going to make a course. So then I would just definitely ask you like, is there a way? Because what you did tell me, and this is where we could see like what your life demonstrates, right? What you did tell me is that I interviewed like 50 people and it was amazing. And your energy was alive, right? You're alive. You're excited. Like your whole body moved with that statement. I'm like, well, you're podcaster. And like, you love this.

Rosie (17:35)

Yeah!

Right.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Yeah,

that's interesting

Carly Pepin (18:02)

So I'm like, okay. Yeah, so my next thought is how is it possible and I don't know if it is and this is for you to think about is it possible to create some sort of course through interviews somehow where you can get on and do some sort of interview style thing and make some sort of educational thing on the background that you could sell because I don't think you're just gonna sit there and do this by yourself based on what you've told me but if I can get you to do it in like a podcast style or an interview sounds

Rosie (18:10)

Yeah.

Mmm.

Mm.

Yeah!

Carly Pepin (18:32)

some

sort of deep dive, I'm like, that could be cool. I haven't, I don't know anyone who's done it, but doesn't matter. doesn't mean it can't be done. And if you can like correlate that and the person who's most likely to do it that way is someone who's that inspired by like the interviews and the questions and the deep diving for information, you know? And then if you really wanted to putting together all the worksheets that go with it, just hire someone for help. Hire someone for help. Yeah. Yeah.

Rosie (18:38)

Right. Right.

Mmmmm

Yeah, yeah.

Right? And this is fascinating. We don't know each other well. We just spoke about

it for like two, three minutes and already you've unpacked that and it makes so much sense asking those questions and paying attention to like my body language. You said I lit up and I lent Ford. Right. When I'm talking about interviewing people, which is fascinating. And it's so true. And I have begun to lean more into the podcast because I've realized that's

What I'm excited to do. hasn't necessarily been easy, but there's been a lot less resistance than there was with doing the course. And I want to ask your thoughts on comfort zones because a lot of people, including myself, I've said this, so you've got to get out of your comfort zone. That's where personal growth happens. I was totally out of my comfort zone trying to develop an online course.

Carly Pepin (19:23)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Rosie (19:49)

but it wasn't really the right thing how I was doing it. So do comfort zones have a role to play?

Carly Pepin (19:55)

Well...

Yes, and it's kind of cool because if you're just doing things that are in your values and that are inspirational and meaningful and it's your life purpose, like you're actually going to step outside your comfort zone naturally, right? So it's like with you, it's like, how do we get you paid to do interviews, whether it be a podcast? I don't care what form of interviews, but it's like this woman gets lit up with interviews. How do we get her paid? And what does that look like? And you think of all the different ways. It's like, I want you to think of every different way on this planet this month.

Rosie (20:00)

Mm.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Carly Pepin (20:25)

to

like get paid doing interviews and figure out which ones feel the most inspiring to you. You know, and it's like when you look at that, those little things to do, like if I was like, go be like an Oprah and start a TV show, that's probably gonna be outside your comfort zone. You know, totally. But it's like, but I'm just gonna interview people for a living. I like that. And it's like, yeah, how cool is that? That's your, you're like, that is amazing. And so it's like, if I gave you that option, you would naturally gravitate towards if it was

Rosie (20:39)

Yeah. Yeah!

How cool is that? Yeah, yeah.

Carly Pepin (20:55)

inspiring

Rosie (20:56)

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (20:56)

enough, which it's aligned with what you love, towards wanting to go through challenges to see what you can do and where that goes, right? And that was just like one option. But that's the cool thing about living in your values is you're naturally going to step outside your comfort zone because you want to get what you want, you know? And if you're promised the best interviews on the planet for the rest of your life, it's like, have a feeling you're going to do what it takes to get it.

Rosie (21:03)

Mm-mm.

Mmm.

Yeah!

That makes so much sense!

Carly Pepin (21:20)

So we just find the

thing that makes the money doing it and then you're like, let's go. Let's go

Rosie (21:25)

Right. Right. So my next question

then from this is how do we keep the motivation up? Because things go wrong. Nothing goes to plan. It's difficult. You your confidence takes a knock. How do we keep the motivation going? And when do we know, when do we know to drop it? Like, actually this isn't in alignment with my core values or when it's just, okay, this is getting a bit tricky.

Carly Pepin (21:35)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Definitely when you start to hear a ton of the shoulds and the needs to use and the have to use I love to ask the question like according to who you know and Yeah, cuz I too was the coach who tried to do online courses. You know, I was I'm not that girl I really am not and so when you look at like what my life demonstrates I love the one-on-one and I love group dynamics, you know, those are the things that I love and In-person is also awesome. There's so much fun for me. I love in person. So I'm working on like creating

Rosie (22:01)

Yeah.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (22:23)

more in person stuff. But when I was trying to do the online courses, like I just was hitting a wall and I was like, but I should do this. I need to do this. And then I finally said like, according to who? Right. According to who? And it was my friend who was just booming in the online business. And so my brain had thought this is the way to do like to create income and like, you know, be like doing well in the industry. Right. Because that's what I had seen. And so that was, yeah, that was my subordination. But the truth is, is

Rosie (22:29)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Carly Pepin (22:53)

that

if we look at like this dynamic, when we subordinate to someone through these comparisons, we perceive they have something that we don't, right? So my perception was like she had the ability to create income off of like these online programs. And I was like, all right, well, where am I the best at creating income? Because you spot it, you got it. Like, where do I actually go? What are the ways that I am the absolute best at creating income and where are the pockets? And when I looked at all the pockets, I was like, that's it. That's my focus.

Rosie (23:01)

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (23:22)

Like this is where I've been going in the entirely wrong direction But this is actually where I focus and what's funny is I do I have a great online presence because whenever I get a referral like it's really helpful for someone to be able to go and honestly like with all like the Auto posting stuff. I could just like make a post and and schedule it now So it's really not it's just like a day and it's not stressful anymore So I'm like just run have fun and then that's there but the reality is is I'm not

Rosie (23:42)

Right, yeah.

Carly Pepin (23:52)

Creating income off of online sales, you know My income gets created in a different way the online presence is there specifically just because I know I get referred and people want to look things up they want information and that's important to them, right? Very important. And so it's really understanding again when you look at who you are What actions your life actually demonstrate and what you're wanting to achieve how you're uniquely doing it and then really structuring your life your business around those things

Rosie (23:54)

Mmmmm

Yes, yes.

Carly Pepin (24:21)

Because it's gonna be different I could get on a thousand calls and do a ton of cold calls But I don't like doing that where some people thrive and so you have to like ask yourself these questions It's like where do you actually thrive? What helps you to thrive and how do you create structures around that? So every day when you're engaged in these things it becomes something Energizing for you, you know, it's not like have a sales call or I have to do this course It's like I have a workshop and I get to create this content

Rosie (24:28)

Ehh

Mm.

Right.

Carly Pepin (24:50)

you know, and it's like, ooh, I get to launch this and ooh, I get to do that, right? And we get excited about those things. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Rosie (24:54)

Right, right.

And it can be scary, right? But there's the excitement as well.

I want people to understand it doesn't mean you've got all the confidence in the world and you're not scared and you're not worried. Like those feelings are real, yeah.

Carly Pepin (25:05)

gosh, No.

Not only those feelings are real, but they're very natural because like, you know, when I first spoke, there was like I was at an event and there was a good amount of people. It was nerve wracking for me for my first. It was like 50 people and it was an event. I was on a stage and everything and I so nervous. I was so freaked out. It was like, Carly and.

Rosie (25:13)

Yes.

Mmm. Mmm.

Yeah.

could be two.

Carly Pepin (25:34)

Yeah, I was so freaked out. Now I can totally do it. It's not a big deal. Like I could totally do it. But if you put me like on a stage in front of like 10,000 people, if I'm like in an auditorium, right? I've never done that before. I'm going to have a different feeling. It's going to be nervous, you know? And so it's like, I can't expect myself to...

Rosie (25:38)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (25:51)

always have the confidence beforehand and I think that's where people get really stuck is they think they need to be the person before they do the thing that the person would do but this isn't the thing you do the thing and then you become the person in the process of doing the thing and that's where the yeah

Rosie (25:59)

oooo

Say that again! Say that again!

Carly Pepin (26:10)

We don't wait to do the thing. We don't be the person first to do the thing. Because you can't do the thing and become that person unless you're actually engaged in it, right? So I can't be a speaker unless I'm practicing and speaking on a regular basis. I can't do it. And so I could sit here and try to take every course and study everything and think, I don't know, everything I possibly can to become a speaker and then...

Rosie (26:28)

This is...

Carly Pepin (26:37)

get on stage and I know people who've done that by the way and they're far more uncomfortable with speaking than I am where it was like just do the thing and it was just me waking up every day and I remember my first thing was Instagram stories they disappear in 24 hours and was like fuck it like if it sucks it's gonna be gone in 24 hours I was like it's go time and every day I would do like a minute to three minutes and I would just test myself until I kept going and going until I was like now I want to do

Rosie (26:43)

Yeah.

Yep, Yeah!

Yeah, yeah.

Right. Yeah.

Carly Pepin (27:05)

other speaking and podcasts and all this stuff until I kept feeling more and more and more comfortable, right? And so it's like, do the thing and then you become that. And that's also where your confidence builds because if you get up, if someone wants to speak, for example, I remember talking about speaking and podcasting mostly, but if someone wants to speak and they go and they face that fear and get on a podcast, talk about things they love and they enjoy themselves and it's scary still, what do they feel after? They're like, that was so intense. And like I did.

Rosie (27:16)

you

Yes!

Carly Pepin (27:35)

it right I see that I can improve and it was a little bit of a shitshow every now and then but like whoa like I can't believe I did it that's where the confidence comes so yeah don't rob yourself of the opportunity to gain that confidence from like life experience and be the person by doing the thing now

Rosie (27:35)

Yes!

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes. Yes.

It's a really important point because a lot of people I talk to who are perhaps wanting to start a business, it's not the right time. Or I want to do a bit more research first because they want to be that person before they even start doing the thing. Cause for some reason we've got in our heads, we need to get there before we even start doing it. Where do you think that belief or expectation has come from?

Carly Pepin (28:18)

Yeah.

So that's our imposter syndrome. It's the comparisons again. So we look at someone with a successful business and you might like Jeff Bezos has a successful business. So you might look at Jeff, right? And be like, well, I have to be that to have that business. You you look at an Oprah and you say, well, I have to be Oprah to be able to have that like level. But the truth is, is where did they start? You know, Jeff, he's, a fun picture. It's on the internet, but it's a fun photo of him with a collapsible table, you know, and like,

Rosie (28:23)

Mmmmm

Right.

Carly Pepin (28:50)

It's

just everything's like crap and it's like that's his first desk, you know, I'm pretty sure my desk was nicer just because I like fashion and beauty. So I was like, I went to Grayton Barrel. like, good on you, Jeff. So it's really funny. But you look and you're like, that's where he started. know, Apple started in a garage. People start businesses because they have great ideas that are products and services that will add value to individuals. And they just get started trying.

Rosie (28:54)

Yeah... Yeah!

Yeah.

Mmm... Right.

Carly Pepin (29:18)

to figure out how to get it out the door. know, usually they bring in teams of people, sometimes they have partnerships that they sign up for. And then once it starts to get out the door, you still don't know what you're doing. You know, I do a lot of business to business consulting and it's rare for a company. It's a very low percentage. I feel like it's like 20 ish percent or something that actually have their shit together on the back end. But for the most part, yeah, it's a bit of a mess. Like the organizational structure can be a next mess. Sometimes the cash flow is a mess.

Rosie (29:20)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah.

Carly Pepin (29:48)

The culture can be a mess, right? They're not executing. They don't have the right strategies. Like things are kind of like on the fly all the time. You hear this in companies all the time. And then yet you sit here you're like, I can't start a business until I know as much as Jeff Bezos. God, don't do it. Don't do it. I'm like, don't do it. It is ridiculous. I'm like, trust me on this one. Don't do it. Too much data I have. And it's like, no, you can start a business now and it's a crap shoot and you're going to learn along the way.

Rosie (30:02)

You say like that it's ridiculous. It's absolutely ridiculous.

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (30:16)

And

study along the way and here's the fun thing too is like you'll get into it and this is what was really helpful for me is like I learned about sales when it was time and I was like having a hard time in sales I learned about marketing when it was time to learn about marketing, you know I learned about business structure when it was time to learn about business structure I learned about like some law legal stuff like when it was time to learn about that But everything came step by step by step by step right and that was pretty amazing That was a pretty amazing thing. I have a client and she's really heavily diving into the leaks

Rosie (30:26)

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (30:45)

aspect of her business because she started working with kids where before it wasn't that big of a deal. So again she learned because her market changed you know it just naturally shifted in that direction and she enjoyed it. Yeah.

Rosie (30:46)

Right. Mm-hmm. Right.

Right. It's that just-in-time learning, the need came up, and then you learn it. You

don't have to know it all.

Carly Pepin (31:04)

No, when she got the third kid, she was like, this is becoming a pattern. And she's like, and I realized this could be an issue. And she just jumped right on it. Right. So it's like, there's going to be some things that you know, and you understand. And then there's other things that your business is going to show you. Hey, you've got a gap here. And that's part of like the relationship that we have with our business, which is this is the amazing thing. It's really a beautiful journey. Like you are in a relationship with your business and whether it's failing, succeeding, struggling, like

Rosie (31:09)

Right, Mm-hmm. Yeah.

you

Carly Pepin (31:34)

doing really well, it's giving you feedback on a regular basis. Because even when it's doing really well, there's still things that are inconsistent and mucking up. And it's like, that's your feedback. That's your business and your relationship being like, hey, hey, pay attention to me. I'm not happy here. And that'll be your growth, your education, delegating, hiring some sort of expert. So you just get started. You just get started.

Rosie (31:37)

you

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (31:58)

And the crazy thing is, the reason why I also really encourage people to get started is because if it's something that they really love, I know that once they get started, they'll get that energy. They'll get that juice that you that I saw you. Yeah, you get that juice. And then once you get the juice, I'm like, you won't give it up. I'm like, so if I could just get you engaged like a couple times, then you'll get that energy and you'll never forget it because it's like that feeling of feeling so alive and energized, but not.

Rosie (32:04)

Mm.

Yes. Yeah!

Right, right.

Yes.

Carly Pepin (32:28)

Not like manic or over excited, you're just like, it's like fuel for your soul. And if I could get you to feel that just a couple times, I know you'll figure anything out. You'll research, you'll study, you'll go through any challenge to get to the other side. You'll make it happen. Yeah.

Rosie (32:32)

Yeah.

You'll make it happen. Yeah. But you just got to start. And I think this is part

of, I can't remember who put this term in my head, but the bias towards action. Just take action. Take that first step. So how do we take the first step?

Carly Pepin (32:52)

Yeah.

Yeah.

We take it. It's like one step at a time. It's like one step at a time. Yeah, it's like one step at a time. It's so funny because we expect it to be this like big grand thing. But sometimes the first step is, you know, if you're just starting out, whatever product or service it is, sometimes the first step is just reaching out to your current network and seeing who's interested or wants to have a conversation and who might be a great referral partner. And that's your first step. You know, my first step was I started in networking groups.

Rosie (32:57)

Yeah.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (33:26)

That was like my first thing I remember because I was like I don't even know where to go and how to meet people and this was before like Facebook was all advertised crazy and stuff So I was like, what do I do? And so my first thing was like networking and I would go to network events And I didn't get I got one client that was at one client off of like a year of network events And I was very diligent by the way But the thing that I learned the most and this is where business if it fails you're still succeeding Because even though I didn't create clients off those networks

Rosie (33:30)

Yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (33:55)

events and I got just one. What was the really interesting thing is what I learned because every networking event you have like one to two minutes to pitch yourself. So for a year I just sat there and practiced an elevator pitch over and over and over and over and over over again and I would see how people responded and I would pay attention to they responded more this time I got more questions after this one and so all of a sudden then that was like helping me with that dynamic right and so it's it's really cool this is what like

Rosie (34:00)

you

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (34:24)

When I say like when you fail you succeed like technically I didn't create any clients But I also really succeeded in that dynamic in the sense that I got what apparently I was meant to learn and meant to understand You know and it wasn't until later that I just wanted getting a lot of clients from yoga classes and workshops that I attended that I attended Which which I learned it's not for me to be at a networking event. Just go to events. I enjoy be yourself I'm just

Rosie (34:41)

Wow, wow.

Right, yes.

Carly Pepin (34:53)

gonna talk about personal development anyways because it just jazzes me up so much and so if someone does it I'm like lock into you guys and I'm like yeah let's talk about it the whole night and then someone usually says like they'll ask hey like how do I find out more about working with you and then it spirals you know and so that's the funny thing is it's like and that's when I said like I'm not the best at these online sales but I'm great at just engaging with people

Rosie (35:02)

Yeah!

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (35:19)

that are interesting and exciting and I interest them, I'm great at engaging in person. And so I was like, how do I drop myself into more of those situations, you know? Which is awesome because now I get to go to yoga retreats, now I get to go to like personal development events, right? it's like, oh, maybe I'll meet someone, maybe I won't, who knows? Yeah.

Rosie (35:21)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

You're having fun!

I love it.

You felt you should be going to these network groups. You spent a year just going hard at it. You got one client and yes, there was success in terms of learning other things. But when you lent into your natural strengths and you just started showing up at events you like, you're naturally talking about it. There's your clients. I relate to that because I did an MBA because somebody said I should. And I went to a lot of networking events.

Carly Pepin (35:57)

Yeah, it was fun.

Rosie (36:06)

because everybody said I should. I hated it. I barely got anything out of it. And eventually I went, why am I doing this? Who is this serving? Not me.

Carly Pepin (36:15)

Yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. And this is the thing too. It's like we can get caught up in the shoulds for a really long time, know, like a really long time. But when we clear those shoulds, those need to, supposed to, it's quicker. We invest less time in just basically doing things that we don't love to do, that we're not meant to do. It took me a really long time to learn that.

a long time. So my business has been formulated. It was formulated slowly over time the way that I wanted it to be. Right. Yeah. But it's a great practice. And I didn't under I didn't even understand the dynamic of the shoulds and the comparisons at the time. So even with this information and just listening to all this, like making this applicable in your day to day life, it can be incredibly helpful. Got a lot of the time out I spend figuring this out and just really getting you on track where it's like, what are your strengths?

Rosie (36:40)

Right, right, yeah.

Carly Pepin (37:03)

What's your unique genius? What are your values? And how do you create something that you love out of that? Whether it products, services, or even your life in general. You know, I mean, we talk about businesses, but your life is also a business. And so I totally, think of my life as a business and I'm like, what do I want that business to look like? You know, how do I want it to thrive? And like, what can I do daily, weekly, monthly, yearly? What are my goals in my life to make sure that it is what I love it to be?

Rosie (37:04)

Yeah...

Mm-hmm.

ho ho.

Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (37:32)

How do I make sure

that I'm not only sustaining that but growing that? And so I know we talked about business, but this is 100 % as well applicable in your life. Yeah, because I work with, moms are fun too, powerhouse moms I call them. They're the CEOs of the family. I work with lot of businessmen and I get to work with their wives too and they're just these badass CEOs of the family. They're such powerhouses. But again, when I work with them, they're really cultivating and crafting.

Rosie (37:48)

So true.

Ha ha.

Carly Pepin (38:00)

What would they love their life to look like? know, like it's the environment they raise their kids in how they raise their kids the Educational component is very specific Again CEOs of the family super badasses I find that their kids are very connected to their purposes at young age and they're very focused on nurturing it You know, so it's like everyone no matter who you are has this opportunity to really craft and cultivate a life that's very inspiring to you and when you really start

Rosie (38:02)

Mm-hmm.

Mmmmm. Mmmmm.

Carly Pepin (38:28)

answer those questions, get out of the shoulds, you give yourself permission to wake up every day to things that you would love to do, not that you gotta have to need to.

Rosie (38:37)

So how do we go about creating a purpose aligned life or business? Because like you said, life is a business too. So how do we go about that? I know being intentional is part of it, but how on earth, how do we do it?

Carly Pepin (38:46)

Yeah.

Yeah, so basically what we want to do is this is where we want to check in with the goals that we're setting. So if a goal is truly important to us, our lifestyle are you going to demonstrate that we're actually taking some action on it? You know, I have a new health and fitness goal this year, but if we look at my lifestyle, I love fitness and I'm insane with I'm like a little crazy with health.

Rosie (38:59)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Right.

Carly Pepin (39:15)

I'm a little crazy with it sometimes, a little bit nutty. But it's really fun for me. It's fun for me and challenging. Like we talked about this. It's fun, but it's also really hard. So if I'm creating that fitness goal, that's me wanting to go to a next step, right? But if I look at my life, it already demonstrates I'm involved in it, right? So if I sit here and I create a goal around, what would it be? Like crocheting, right? Or something like, sometimes it's hard for me to even think of because I'm gardening. my gosh, I hate gardening.

Rosie (39:19)

Mm-hmm.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (39:45)

If I say I'm going to go make a garden, I want farm fresh food. 100 % I want organic farm to table food. I love it. I think it tastes amazing. And my mother-in-law has the most beautiful garden. It's amazing. when we get her, we call them our farm boxes in the summertime and spring. So good. So if I say I'm going to go build that garden, my life doesn't demonstrate I do that at all. In fact, I love plants and it's very hard for me to keep my house plants alive because when it's like my reminder

Rosie (39:49)

Right, right.

Yeah.

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (40:13)

to water them, I just keep waiting a couple days because I keep procrastinating on it. I like the plants, I like the farm fresh food, but it's not my top priority. So saying I'm going to go and build a garden and set a goal to that, I'm going to beat myself up every day if I don't do it. So whenever we're setting goals, you really want to pay attention to what your life is demonstrating, right? Like, is there actually some evidence of this occurring? And even if it's a little bit, that's okay. But if it's nothing, you might want to reconsider like setting that goal. You might want to actually reconsider it. And sometimes people might

Rosie (40:21)

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (40:43)

be like, okay, well, I want to have a business Carly, but you know, I haven't been taking action to build a business. But let's also just double check and see, well, are you studying it? Have you been talking about it? Are you focused on it? Like, what are you doing to grow it beyond just the external action of being involved in it? Because it might also be that you've been studying like crazy and it's like, okay, then give it a try and see how it goes. Because you're either a super studier or you really want to have a business. Yeah, like you really want to have one, but we'll find out.

Rosie (40:48)

Yeah.

Right.

Carly Pepin (41:12)

in the first month, guaranteed. Yeah.

Rosie (41:14)

Right. You have to start to know and get that feedback. that, that leads me to another

question. Can our goals change? Can our values change?

Carly Pepin (41:24)

Yeah, so they can. So it's pretty rare for them to change. Sometimes,

If people don't like their values, we judge our values sometimes because we don't think they're important. Like I have a high value on beauty and fashion, super high. So I used to have a lot of shame about the quantity of money that I spend on like clothes and beauty product, all that stuff. I don't have that shame anymore. So I got to work on that. So before I thought I shouldn't have that where now it's like, I'm just going to incorporate it in. The values that we have, right? We basically have that we've had them for

Rosie (41:42)

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (41:58)

pretty much our whole life. And what winds up happening is they're often unachievable, these values, which are like our life purpose and end goal. We call it the telos, the end in mind. So if I think about, like, I love personal development. When are you done growing? Never. So, like, never. Can it be fulfilled? No. Like, that is an unfulfillable, like...

Rosie (42:05)

Right. huh.

Never! Yeah!

you

Carly Pepin (42:23)

life purpose so I'm most likely going to have this for the rest of my life like there's a low probability that's going to go away you know even business like for me I don't think that there's a cap

Rosie (42:24)

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (42:34)

level for business. Like for me, it's like, well, once I get there, is it possible to go to the next step? Is it possible to get more? Like I hadn't really thought of that. And then I'll be like, well, I hadn't thought I could be that person, but I'll just put that on the plate. I'll put that on the plate. So business is also a never ending goal for me. So I don't know if that'll change, but there are some people who, like I had a client and his goal was literally to be a centimillionaire. And then once he hit centimillionaire, he just, he's like, I don't care about making any more money. Like he didn't want to be a billionaire. He was like, I don't care.

Rosie (42:56)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (43:03)

I'm done. He's like, I just want to maintain this and I just want to focus on relationships now So because he achieved an actual end point which for him was sent a millionaire He could move on to another value something else, right? So sometimes it's an end goal and an achievement But again, if we think about things like learning and education a lot of them are endless even health is like an endless goal like so every day it's like Gravity and aging is going against that so every day

Rosie (43:10)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah!

Carly Pepin (43:32)

I have something to learn.

So the other ways that it can change is through traumatic experiences. so this is interesting, like someone might have a really high value around their kids, but they could lose their kids and their kids could pass away. And so all of a sudden that trauma may drive them to be like, I don't want to have kids again. That was too painful. I'm going to go another path in life. Right. So the traumatic shifts are big deal for people. Sometimes that's where the rags to riches stories come from. Someone didn't have a

Rosie (43:38)

Okay, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

you

Carly Pepin (44:02)

value around building financial wealth, right? Which not all of us do. Like the richest people genuinely have a higher value. It's just more purpose driven for them to build financial wealth. So they focus on it more than other individuals do. And so someone rags to riches had so much trauma in the poverty experience. And when you hear them on podcasts or other shows and stuff, you'll actually hear how traumatizing it was for them. And they're like, I just got to get out of this. So that level of trauma got them out of not having that value at all.

Rosie (44:10)

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (44:31)

to it being a high priority. So trauma can shift your values as well. The other thing that shifts your values is linking. So you can actually link things in your value system to move it up on the scale. So for example, like when I first did my goals and I learned about all this stuff, I had all this financial stuff and like the next year I looked at it I was like, what did I achieve and what did I not? And I looked at everything and I was like,

Rosie (44:40)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (44:54)

nothing on the financial sector. was like, whoa, I was like, I don't, I was like, I don't have a value on this at all. Like I didn't do one thing, not one thing I said I was going to do. And so I started linking and seeing how like building my wealth.

Rosie (44:55)

Hmm interesting,

Wow.

Carly Pepin (45:10)

and increasing savings, investing, learning about all the things that would serve these other things, my business, my personal development. And I raised it on the list. So now when I look at that, I've checked off all those things on that first year that I didn't do, and I naturally gravitate towards books about investing and finance, and it's exciting for me now, right? Like I love listening to it. So I shifted it and I raised it up. I don't suggest doing that.

Rosie (45:16)

Hmm.

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (45:36)

on regular basis. Here's why. First, when everyone asks me to change a value system, like first I want to check in because like I said, sometimes we judge our values. So if you want like a value on health and fitness and you don't want the value that you have, like you're a chef or something, right? You could be a Michelin star chef and they can come to me and be like, I just don't want to like food anymore. And I just want to be into health. And I'm like,

Rosie (45:44)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (45:59)

let's clear the subordination first. You obviously are like hating yourself because you're comparing yourself to someone else and I cannot tell you how many times I've had this and it's like let's clear the subordinations and go from there and what'll happen is after I clear the subordinations I say do you need to change anymore and they're going no.

Rosie (46:00)

Yeah

Mmm.

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (46:16)

I'm good. My

life is like perfect. I love my life. Right. So when I I actually have not ever shifted anyone's values outside of just finances because finances like it can be tricky. Like when we have something low in the financial sector I understand like it makes a difference in your life because the world runs on money. So it's what it is. Yeah. So we're really focused on like the financial dynamic mostly which my husband actually put a workshop together on that one because that was the one we noticed. It's like that's the one that

Rosie (46:25)

Mmm.

Right, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (46:45)

matter what we still wind up working on. Yeah.

Rosie (46:48)

Yeah,

so true. Now, what about people who are working on their values, trying to figure it out, but they're not working with a coach or there's not someone to guide them. Do you think they're going to land on those core values straight away or will it take a little bit of trial and error? Because I know there's a lot of pressure. Yeah.

Carly Pepin (47:05)

Yeah.

Even if you're working with someone, takes trial and error. And the reason being, yeah, this was crazy. Like when I started to see this pattern. When I first started understanding this and stuff, the way that I described it was very different. I actually say it's personal development, but it's not really a personal development. It's not really that. Now it's so refined. It's actually my number one thing, my reason for living.

Rosie (47:09)

Okay.

Carly Pepin (47:33)

I dedicate everything to is I just want to experience and expand my vision. That's it. Like if I could just do that all day, every day, my life feels complete. You know, I love that. I feed off that. I will go through anything to have that happen. Like it's just what I do. Right. But when I first started, I thought it was personal development. But what I started to see as, know, just over like the decades, like over and over again, I'm refining and paying attention. And I started to realize that I massively focus on personal development.

why because it's given me the most fuel to be able to have these experiences that I want. Like that's actually why I'm doing it. And I was like, Whoa, would I even do personal development if it didn't get me here? And I was like, I wouldn't, I honestly, truly wouldn't. And I'm like, but it's the thing that has given me the most traction.

Rosie (48:09)

Right.

Yeah...

Carly Pepin (48:24)

day after day. And so I'm like, that's why I love it so much. And learning is the same. I'm like, do I even care about learning if it's like not giving me these things? And I'm like, nope. And I'm like, but the learning since again, I think in my perception, it's giving me the most traction. I'm hyper focused on it. And so you'll get, when you start to see the patterns and the things that are going on, you'll start to realize like, there are certain dynamics that are repetitive, but as you start to pay more attention to like the little bits and pieces,

Rosie (48:40)

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (48:54)

around them you can refine it over time you know and here's the other thing too because I said even with the coach sometimes you don't get it right away because we subordinate so much so much you guys like you if you pay attention to how many times you should yourself in a day say should need to have to got to ought to supposed too much you're gonna shit yourself write it down and you're gonna be like what is happening like that's how bad it is like we don't even realize how often we do it

Rosie (49:01)

Mm-hmm.

Wow, yeah.

Carly Pepin (49:24)

There are times that we do it that we don't even notice right and I like I'll catch it later and be like my gosh I cannot believe I didn't catch that I've been like subordinating this for how long and it's like a program like running in the background that I didn't even see and so I'm Aware that in this moment. There are things that I am unaware of that I'm subordinating to you know There are the things that I'm aware of and there are things I'm unaware of so when we first start on this process of learning how to clear those subordinations and comparisons Just know that you do have a lot and it's not a

Rosie (49:26)

Hmm.

Right. Yeah!

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (49:53)

a or a bad thing, it's actually quite normal. And so what's going to wind up happening is that noise is going to get in the way of you being able to clearly articulate your answers. It's brain noise and it comes in with the shoulds as you're answering. It's like, what do I do every day? Well, I think I should. Basically, our brains automatically start with, think I should do this. And then you want it to be that. And so I have a lot of people who will like even say it's this when I'm like, your life doesn't demonstrate that. And it's like, you just want it to be that because you're

Rosie (50:02)

Hmmmm

Carly Pepin (50:23)

subordinating to something, you know? I was working with someone who was like amazing in the healthcare industry but was like subordinating to acting and they kept telling me their number one value is acting and I looked at it I was like, you don't even invest at all. It's like, when was the last time you tried? 10 years ago, I took this class and I'm like...

Rosie (50:28)

Mm.

Carly Pepin (50:42)

It's not it, bro. Like, it's not it. I'm like, let's find out who you're subordinating to, you know? So sometimes we'll answer that question incorrectly because the subordinations are so strong. And so that's why it's just continuing, like, refine, repeat, refine, repeat, refine, repeat, refine, repeat. It's helpful to have coach because, know, like, you know, we know how not I know how to ask you questions to be like bullshit. Yeah, bullshit. Yeah, for sure, because it's like.

Rosie (50:43)

Right.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Yeah, right. And what would take me possibly years could take you an hour or less. And you go, what?

Carly Pepin (51:11)

BULLSHIT!

Rosie (51:11)

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (51:13)

I've talked to you for three weeks, I know you're not doing that!

Rosie (51:16)

Yeah, yeah. It's so fascinating and so relatable. And you keep mentioning subordination and I'm thinking

of a recent example for me. Or I'm going through it at the moment. I live full time in my van and I like to live off grid. So I have an electrical system. I live off solar and my battery bank and da da. Well, it's cucked itself. It's not working. So I'm having to pay for rent at a caravan park to have electricity.

And I haven't been able to replace the electrical system yet because it's going to cost $5,000 if I do it on the cheap or 10,000 if I do high quality stuff. And I just don't have that money at the moment. And I keep saying to myself, oh, I should go and get work. I should go and get work. I should be applying for jobs. And I very lazily applied to some online. I didn't even personalize the cover letters. And I know that I should be going into shops and talking to people.

Carly Pepin (51:58)

Christian.

Hmm.

Rosie (52:09)

I know actually that I should renew my teaching registration. I'm an ex-teacher. I could be earning good money by doing relief teaching. Have I done it? No, I have not.

Carly Pepin (52:18)

Those are all the subordinations. Okay, so what's interesting is I actually have a client and she worked for this chiropractic office that helped other chiropractor, like they helped buy and sell and do exit strategies for chiropractors and connect them and stuff. But what she was in charge of was a podcast. And so she got paid six figures, good six figures every year, like a high six figure salary to basically be in charge of the podcast, bring on chiropractors, ask them questions.

Rosie (52:19)

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

No.

Carly Pepin (52:48)

He was asking, hosting a podcast a week and getting paid for it. And it's funny, I was like, well, what if I got you a job at a company doing podcasting full time and I'd pay you quarter million dollars a year? What do you think? Would that be interesting to you? And then you're more like, well, guess maybe. I could check that out. And so what's happening is you found something that fueled your soul.

Rosie (53:05)

Yeah!

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (53:12)

Like you found something

that feels just so, and the idea of stepping away from it and doing these other things now is draining to you. But if you had the opportunity and there was someone who was genuinely paying, it would be something you're like, I could suck that up in a job and then I could still be doing what I love. I can make the cash that I want. You'd probably leave eventually because you love this so much.

Rosie (53:18)

Yeah.

Mm.

hell yeah, yeah.

Carly Pepin (53:34)

That's why I work with businesses because most people hire you not knowing you're gonna leave like after you sort it out and I'm like that's also why business owners are hiring me because I'm like I love you and like you're you cost them a lot of money It's funny, but that's the truth. That's what you would do You would take it like partially where these other jobs you're like a hard no, right? And it just again is showing me more and more What your values are?

Rosie (53:36)

Yeah

Yeah!

Yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (54:03)

You want to build some sort of business. You want to figure something out. You're willing to go through the challenge to get there. You know, I see that. And so it's like, yeah, if I could just get the cash and I could do some of stuff I love and it wouldn't be exactly the way I do it, but I just do it for a little while and get enough cash to sort all this out and launch my business even more. You do it. It's like, it's like, okay, hands down, I'm done. And so, yeah, it's really important to like pay attention again to the things that light us up because when we find

Rosie (54:09)

you

Yeah, yeah, right.

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (54:28)

other avenues where that can be fed. We are easily sold into it. One of our clients, our workshop clients, he works at a huge corporation, loves personal development, obsessed with it. They didn't have anything in personal development before him and he's been working there for like 10 years and after the workshop he's like, I want more of this everywhere. And so he actually brought it into this like multi-billion dollar corporation that now has a personal development sector within the company that he

Rosie (54:39)

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (54:57)

He's in charge of running the programs and bringing

Rosie (54:59)

Right.

Carly Pepin (55:00)

people in. And it's like, that's crazy. Like, he doesn't want to have a business, but that was something that was so inspiring to him that he made it happen and now he gets paid to do that. You know, so it's like, really, when you really connect with what you love, you know, the sky's kind of the limit because it's you connect with what you love. You get inspired by it because he's so fueled by it. He can give that giant corporation all the evidence of why this was amazing, sold them on it, which really has helped them and their

Rosie (55:08)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (55:27)

company as well and like it's a win-win scenario you know so it's like yeah find that thing you love it might fit into a company or working you might be the person who's like I just want to start a business around this and I'm willing to go through the challenges but you don't know until you really connect with those things that you love you know you don't really know

Rosie (55:45)

I think this ties in beautifully to a question I ask every single guest. So Carly, what does freedom mean to you?

Carly Pepin (55:56)

Yeah. Okay. So funny enough, freedom also means having restrictions to me. Yeah. Okay. Because for me to be free to do what I want, I put restrictions in my life to make sure it happens. Right. Totally. And so to me, they go hand in hand. But like then all the restrictions like simultaneously like feel.

Rosie (56:00)

Hey, yeah, say more, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Carly Pepin (56:24)

really just in flow and like I don't feel like even if I'm tired I might be tired.

doing them wrong. Physically we can only handle so much. So there's times when I've been like go time and I'm exhausted after. I'm a girl so I have a period and my husband will get a call and be like I'm just so tired this week and I'm like I just I think I'm just gonna cry really quick and then I'm just gonna get back to work. Because that's life right? So but again that restriction of me just going through and moving forward in my day to day regardless of sometimes how I feel gives me the freedom later on you

Rosie (56:38)

Yeah

Right, right.

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (56:58)

So it's like later on when I want that freedom. I have it. Yeah, so it's like I have four days off like soon But I have crazy projects coming up crazy projects and I'm taking another week off at the end of the month to go on a yoga retreat And I'm taking that time off like I'm gonna go off the grid for that one So to do that, I'm hunkering down now. So I've I've given myself more restriction I've put more restrictions on me. I have

Rosie (57:12)

Love it.

Mm-hmm.

Carly Pepin (57:27)

more structured schedule but at the end of it I'll have the freedom to not I won't have to worry about my business I don't have to worry about the clients I don't have to worry about everything's taken care of right and stuff is also planned for ahead of time so I don't come home and have to just go bam bam bam bam so I'll go and put in that extra restriction to get that freedom you know and because I got that freedom right I also can give myself the opportunity to move forward into new restrictions like financial freedom to me also gives me the opportunity to invest in

Rosie (57:42)

Right.

Carly Pepin (57:56)

other businesses, other things I would love to create, which creates a new restriction. And so for me, it's like this beautiful ebb and flow where I'm constantly in and out of like restriction freedom, restriction freedom, but this again is where the values come in.

Rosie (58:00)

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (58:09)

Just if you can formulate that in your value system, you really appreciate it a lot. Like you appreciate it so much more than the restrictions become meaningful instead of feeling like closed up and stuck. Yeah. Cause it's on the way to the thing that you want to achieve, the freedom that you're wanting to have. And you're like, well, of course I want to do this because it's to give me that. Yeah.

Rosie (58:20)

Mmm.

It makes so much sense, but it's such a juxtaposition. Having these restrictions, but then it allows you to have your freedom. But it's such a beautiful balance and it just goes to show we need to be intentional. Freedom isn't an end point, but to experience this freedom, it's not going to happen by chance, is it?

Carly Pepin (58:38)

Yeah.

No, it really isn't. It's not random. And I tell people this all the time and I'm like, I know going with the flow, I am a go with the flow girl as But the way that I get to go with the flow is different because there's a balance of flow and structure. So even the last time I...

Rosie (58:53)

Damn it!

Right, right.

Carly Pepin (59:14)

traveled to Paris, like I love Paris and I don't want to miss what I don't want to miss. So my days are structured. I map out a lot. Like I said, I love fitness. So I just map out the whole walking, just walk the whole thing. And sometimes I'm like, OK, don't walk that. Take the train here. but my whole schedule is mapped out for the day and it's mapped out in such a specific way. I'm to go to lunch.

Rosie (59:24)

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (59:38)

in the exact place I want to go to lunch to. I don't want to just eat. I don't want to eat crap food. I'm in Paris. Don't make me crap food. I'm going to find a beautiful restaurant that I have certainty is going to give me the authentically beautiful food that I want to eat and it's going to be mapped out perfectly. So I make sure I get there on time, you know, right when they open and also dinner. Dinner starts at seven there. So my whole day is mapped out to also make sure I get to dinner at the right time. I'm going to the stores that I want to go to. I'm also going to all of the museums that I want to go to.

and in between all these little places because I'm walking is where my flow is, right? So I have this whole structure, but the in between is the flow and I don't just do like it has to be exactly that time. I give myself leeway so that, you know, I might not stop anywhere. And then at the end of the day, I'm like, what is that? I didn't know that was there. I'm going there. Or you're eating lunch and they're like, you got to check this out. You're going there, check this out on the way. And so I have space in there to have the flow. But at the end of the trip, I don't ever say,

Rosie (1:00:19)

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Carly Pepin (1:00:37)

Like I felt restricted. I go home and I'm like, I did everything that I was inspired to do and I got all this extra stuff.

Rosie (1:00:39)

Mmmmm

Carly Pepin (1:00:47)

And like, I can't wait to tell, like I didn't go with my husband this time, I was like, I can't wait to tell you. And I would call him at the end of the day and share with him the experience and the insights and everything that occurred. So again, it's like this balance, and I give this example because it's like a balance of structure and flow. And having the structure, that strict structure doesn't get rid of the flow, it supports it to a greater degree. And so then I didn't just wander around Paris and then leave, which I've done before, and be like, I cannot believe I

Rosie (1:01:13)

Ha ha ha ha

Carly Pepin (1:01:17)

that I cannot believe I missed that like this time I was like whoa like I could not believe what I got out of this trip and the insights were so profound like I've used them in my coaching sessions ever since ever since I went yeah which is amazing and so it's like really give yourself the opportunity when we think about structure and creating freedom is build the structure so that you don't miss out on the things in life that are important to you that would really be inspiring to you and fuel you build the structure build the restraints

Rosie (1:01:17)

Right, right.

Mm.

Wow.

you

Yes. Yes.

Carly Pepin (1:01:45)

build the restrictions around that because once you're in it and you're experiencing it, that's where the freedom is, you know? And to get there, we build all these like complicated little things and then we get there and we're like, like the freedom I feel, even though there's so many restraints, it was so freeing, like it's so freeing. Yeah. Cause you're in it and you experienced it and you got it.

Rosie (1:01:59)

Right! Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Carly, this conversation has been amazing. And I'm just going through some of my key takeaways. And these aren't your words. I'm going to probably butcher it, but we can't be the thing until we start doing the thing. So just take action. That really stuck with me because I'm someone who often gets caught in the analysis paralysis and I'm just going to keep researching and I just want to learn a little bit more and I'm not ready, but doesn't really get me anywhere. And then

forgot the second thing I was going to say. Maybe it will come to me. But what you were just saying about the restraints. We're not going to experience life the way we want to if we don't have these restraints.

Simple as that. Stop being intentional, people. I think that's so important. can't just, I mean, we can just go with the flow of life, but if we do, are we going to live the life we want? Probably not.

Carly Pepin (1:03:00)

Yeah, you'll have a flow, but it's a flow directed by other people instead of a flow directed by you. Because, and some days those are fun. Like my husband and I have done that too. We're like, let's just see what happens. We're going to say, we did this one time. We were in Bowen Island in Canada. We're like, we're going to say yes to everything for the next hour. And we stopped by like all these little farms and someone randomly came up to us and was like, Hey, I had a camera on the neck. They're like, random question.

Rosie (1:03:05)

yeah.

Yeah

Uh-huh.

Carly Pepin (1:03:27)

my camera just broke and my wife needs to do a photo shoot and they're like, can you come do it? Can we borrow your camera? And I looked at her, my husband and I was like, yes. So sometimes that's really fun. But if I allowed the whole world to do that on a regular basis.

Rosie (1:03:36)

I love that, yeah.

Yeah!

Carly Pepin (1:03:43)

that wouldn't be fun. You know, because I actually have things that are inspiring to me, purposeful, meaningful. And so I'm more likely to like structure it the way that I want and play around every now and then. One other really funny story to really cement and just do the thing is there's a yoga teacher that I was really into and he used to do this thing where he would float, right? So he would just float when they jump from.

Rosie (1:03:51)

Hmm.

Carly Pepin (1:04:04)

like downward dog up to dosana, right? So the standing pose and he would just like float into it like he looked like a superhero it was amazing and I waited 10 years to go to his workshop and it happened to be in Naples right after my husband and I got married in Italy and I was like babe let's extend our our thing just three days well four days in Naples so we can have a day and I was like and I'm gonna go to this workshop I'm waiting 10 years and I feel like I'm finally ready and I'm just so funny because like I really didn't think that I was ready for it and I

Rosie (1:04:18)

Mmm.

Yeah.

Carly Pepin (1:04:34)

I like, still don't feel ready, but I'm like ready enough. So we get to this workshop and he's a world renowned teacher. And I've been studying like crazy with this other guy who's like super intense and awesome. And I get there and the first three hours of the workshop, I was like, my gosh.

He's

Rosie (1:05:08)

Mmm.

Carly Pepin (1:05:17)

before I studied with the teacher I'm having now. He was the prerequisite to the teacher I have now. But I had so in my head made myself believe because of this one thing that he was like some master that I didn't go do something. And I spent like a decade and I could have had fun doing that 10 years ago where present day I was like, I didn't even want to stay. And so when I say go do the thing, I mean, go do the thing. And that was the trip where my husband and I decided like.

Rosie (1:05:18)

rice.

you

Right.

Carly Pepin (1:05:47)

Even if we're not ready, we're gonna try the thing anyways. And we had a good laugh about it and we're like, if we got anything out of this man and this experience, I was like, it was definitely the personal development of like, if you want to try the thing, try the thing now. You know, don't wait the 10 years to try the thing because in 10 years you're gonna surpass it and then you'll try the thing and be like, why did wait so long?

Rosie (1:05:49)

Yeah!

Yeah.

Right.

That is such a good philosophy to live by. And people listening, even if you don't feel ready, just do the thing. Just do it. Get on with it. Right?

Carly Pepin (1:06:11)

Yeah. Yeah. Just do it anyways. Yeah. Just do it. Yeah. Don't do what I did. Yeah.

Rosie (1:06:26)

I just want to say

thank you so much. This has been a really engaging conversation and you've got me thinking about a lot of things. You know, when I mentioned this online course thing and what you picked up on me talking about doing interviews and stuff, I'm going be going away and doing a lot of thinking and reflecting. So thank you for that. That's been really profound and just your take on what freedom is and you know, human behavior and our core values and how to uncover that.

Carly Pepin (1:06:44)

Yeah.

Rosie (1:06:54)

and how we get caught up in the shoulds. This is so much you have covered. I think I need to go listen to this episode again and take some notes.

Carly Pepin (1:07:04)

Thank you, this was really inspiring. Yeah, thank you so much. And I appreciate you sharing that example too, because I know people will see the energy and feel it too, so they can relate to that. Yeah. Thanks.

Rosie (1:07:12)

Yeah, I hope so. Thank you.