52: Learning to trust your intuition with Beth Iaciofano

[00:00:00] Welcome back to the pursuit of freedom podcast. I'm Rosie your host. If you're new here, I live. Full-time in my van with my red dog, Tilly, and I absolutely love life. Most of the time. This episode was recorded back in February. So it's been a while coming. I know you're going to love it before we roll the intro, please make sure you're following the podcast.

[00:00:20] It's the button at the top of the show page. It says followed. Tap it, please, please, please. It's the easiest way for you to support the show. It pushes it out to more people. So that we can have more impact. So let's do it. And if you haven't already please write and review the podcast, it's at the bottom of the show page, or you can go to the pursuit of freedom.com.edu forward slash reviews. All right. Let's roll the intro.

[00:00:50] Rosie: G'day, and welcome to the Pursuit of Freedom podcast. I'm your host, Rosie Burrows, and I'm on a journey to find my freedom so that I can help you do exactly the same. Join me each week as I share the stories of everyday people who've found their own path to freedom.

[00:01:07] I'm not going to focus on job titles and accolades because I don't care about that stuff. And neither should you. I want to uncover what truly makes you tick. Who are you when you step away from society's expectations and follow your heart? I still haven't figured it out yet. Have you? Either way, buckle up because it's going to be one hell of a ride.

[00:01:32] Joining us today is the amazing Beth Iacofano. And Beth, first of all, thank you for joining me. And second of all, I want to flip the scripts a little bit. I know that podcast hosts often introduce their guests and there's this whole spiel, but today I want you to introduce yourself and I want you to think about it more than Because I think there's more to us than what we do.

[00:02:02] So no time limit. How would you introduce yourself?

[00:02:05] Beth: I am a teacher, healer, spiritualist. I am a transformationist. All the great things. Not just what I do, but who I am. And who I am kind of comes together with what I do, so. If I were to explain who I am, I think that's it. If I were to introduce

[00:02:31] Rosie: myself. I love the word transformationist.

[00:02:34] That's really powerful. As soon as you said it, I went, Hmm, it's not really something I've heard much before. I love that. Yeah. So tell me more about what you mean by that. Yeah.

[00:02:45] Beth: Well, I'm in the midst of a huge transformation. Um, and because I left my I left a career, a teaching career of 17 years and I'm now a life coach, a transformational life coach, neuro transformational life coach.

[00:03:02] So, in that coaching program, I myself have been transformed. So, through the, you know, through that program and through the exercises and through learning about, um, the exercises and how to coach, It's actually coaching for me. So unpacking all the beliefs that I've carried from childhood that no longer serve me and figuring out, um, why I do what I do.

[00:03:33] And you know, those things that you say, Oh, why do I keep doing that? That's what I've been figuring out. So that's what I mean by I'm a, you know, I'm transforming and the beauty behind transformation is it's. It's tough, it can be painful, but on the other side of the pain is something so beautiful and so, um, natural.

[00:03:59] We're not meant, we didn't come here. To earth this school called earth to struggle non stop. We came to learn lessons, but We came to enjoy our life and to and to live the way we want to live So, um, I think sometimes we get we get in the way of that like our brains our heart knows that But our brains get in the way our body knows that but our brains get in the way like your body can tell you that Something's wrong But your brain's going to shut it down and say, Oh, you're fine.

[00:04:35] Just keep moving. Don't be lazy.

[00:04:38] Rosie: So

[00:04:39] Beth: if we can, if we can set aside our brains for a little bit and listen to our body, listen to our emotions and just tap into that, um, it's beautiful and true transformation, I think really comes from being able to listen to yourself. That's where it starts. Being able to listen to yourself, tap into your thoughts, tap into your emotions.

[00:05:04] Is this, is what I'm feeling aligned? Is what I'm thinking aligned with my higher self? With what I want? With what I desire? If the answer is no, then a shift needs to be made. Um, and we can choose not to do that shift or we can choose to do it. And some of us choose not to because it's too scary. We don't want to face it.

[00:05:25] We wanna, I, I tell my clients, you're, you're used to sitting in a dirty diaper. You know what it feels like, you know what to expect from that level of dirty diaper.

[00:05:35] Rosie: Yeah. And

[00:05:36] Beth: you almost don't even know how dirty it is because you've worn it for so many years until you start getting cleaner that you're like, oh my God, I carried that around all this time.

[00:05:47] and it's, it's, it's been eyeopening, which is why I say it. I'm a transformist. I mean, I, it's, and I love helping other people transform. Yeah. And just looking at it, saying, oh my God, I never thought of it that way. Or, um, I never knew I was carrying so much. Mm-Hmm. . So it's, um, that was a loaded question. Like how would you, how would you describe yourself?

[00:06:12] Because I think we are so many different things. We don't know we're carrying around so much until we let it go until we have someone help us and if we could do it ourselves we would but it really takes another human being to help, um, and, and especially someone who's been through it. I love working with women who need to learn to trust again.

[00:06:41] And whether it's trusting other people or trusting themselves, because if, really, if you don't trust other people, you don't trust yourself. You don't trust yourself to know that there's something wrong. Um, so really, that's, that's the beauty. And I just, I just love this path. And, and it's, it's It's not really completely different from what I was doing because I was a teacher and I'm still teaching I'm just doing it in a different capacity and I'm really tapping into that part of myself that spiritual side that that intuitive medium side of myself When I work with clients like okay, this client is saying this and I'll say to myself All right.

[00:07:23] What do I need to do? Where do I need to go to help this client and it'll come in Um, and, and that took some time, that took a long time for me to, um, learn how to trust that, that intuition, that gut feeling.

[00:07:40] Rosie: And

[00:07:40] Beth: now that I have it in spades, like I trust implicitly, I just know how things feel. This doesn't feel right.

[00:07:49] I need to go somewhere else and I trust, I journal, I have all my tools that I do to help myself navigate this world. Um, but it wasn't always that way. It's really only been within the past really two years that I've really tapped into it and changed. So I'm 56 years old, so I lived a long time without, um, not like I was miserable.

[00:08:12] I just knew there was something more that I was meant to do. So I don't think it's ever too late. It's never too late. I don't care how old you are. It's never too late to do what's aligned with your higher self.

[00:08:26] Rosie: Yeah. Yeah. You mentioned something that I think a lot of people listening will be able to relate to is that you just knew there was something more.

[00:08:35] A lot of us have this feeling like, ah, you know, not quite happy with where life is and is this really all there is to it? But then we just leave the feeling there. Why is that? We have these feelings, but so often. Because I'm saying we because I've been in this situation before but we ignore it and just sort of push on and go.

[00:08:57] Hmm. Yeah, whatever

[00:09:00] Beth: Well, I think it's fear. It's it's the fear of change. I think we don't want to change and we don't want to Sometimes admit that there may be There might be bluer skies on the other side But when we have this feeling, and I know I did, I had the feeling that I, um, wasn't doing what I wanted to do anymore, but I loved it at the beginning.

[00:09:27] I became a teacher out of, out of necessity, really, because I had my daughter and I needed full time job. I was going through a divorce, so, um, I needed to make a decent salary and I needed to have hours that were similar to hers, so I listened to my intuition. And my intuition came actually through another human being.

[00:09:51] So, um, she mentioned to me, have you ever thought about teaching? And initially when she brought it up, I'm like, oh no, I'd never want to be a teacher. But then coincidentally, a couple of years later, it's exactly what I started to do. I'm like, this might be my path. And, um, it was wonderful while it was wonderful.

[00:10:12] And I really did enjoy it. I taught, um, eighth grade science. So middle school and, um, I was able to really help a lot of kids and I, my philosophy of teaching was that, um, I was more interested in their social emotional place than the content. So, and I wanted to teach them skills and tools that they'd need to be an adult, like time management and, and, um, Self, self advocacy and all those tools that we need as adults.

[00:10:46] Like if we're in a job and we don't know what we're doing, we better ask the boss. Or if we have work to do, we better have time management because we got to get our work done. So, I was all about teaching those skills and making sure that their emotional well being was in place. Because I knew they weren't going to learn science if that was the case.

[00:11:06] So I really focused on a lot of, um, breathing techniques and I had a ton of tools in my classroom. I had, I had yoga balls that they could sit on and wobble chairs and stress balls that they could squeeze. I had, um, crystals that they could hold anyone that, you know, was into the energy. So I had all this stuff, which I kind of brought with me to coaching.

[00:11:29] So it's not like when I became a coach, I did something like completely different. It really I was just incorporating everything I already was into just a different path

[00:11:40] Rosie: But I think

[00:11:41] Beth: so many people and I know it was me five years ago I was like I really need to be doing something else. I started to really feel uncomfortable and like Unhappy and there's got to be more And but it was a good 12 years where I was really I was happy doing what I was doing.

[00:11:59] I was fulfilled so It isn't like I was miserable because that's not the case at all But then I started to get where I couldn't do it anymore. I was too stressed And so I decided to take a different job in the same school with a new curriculum. I so I designed the curriculum And I figured oh, this will be it.

[00:12:18] I'll be working with seventh and eighth grade kids. I'll i'll like this Nope still wasn't fulfilled. So I had to sit and say okay Can I see myself walking back in this building again in august and my answer was no So I took a huge leap. Not everyone needs to do that. I mean, I quit my job. I said at the end of June, the end of the school year, that's going to be it for me.

[00:12:42] And I do have the support of my husband, so that helps a tremendous amount, but I knew with the coaching, I knew I couldn't half ass it. I was going to be all in and working all day as a teacher and then trying to get coaching done. It wasn't feasible for me and I knew I didn't want to teach anymore. I didn't want to teach middle school.

[00:13:08] So it wasn't fair to the kids and it wasn't fair to me because I wasn't doing what I wanted to do anymore. So I was one that took the leap and I quit my job and you know, gave them from Jan, January, middle of January. I let my, my principal know I was leaving at the end of June. It was the best thing I ever did.

[00:13:28] I never regretted it for one second, not one second. And it was hard to Rosie because I was making decent money and I had the health insurance. So that holds people back as well. They think, Oh, well I'm making, you know, so much money that, um, I don't want to leave my job. And you can't make, you cannot make your life be about money.

[00:13:53] You can't. It just it's not energetically aligned to think oh, I'm making this much money So or I'm gonna get this job because I'm making this much money And that's when people are miserable when they get a job because of the pay That's when it doesn't work out Because it's never if you're not energetically aligned and you're not doing what you feel like you're meant to do You're gonna or you're just being miserable and there are plenty of humans on this earth that are miserable doing what they're doing You But they're staying with it because they're afraid.

[00:14:24] Rosie: Hmm. I think fear is a huge part of it. I know for me, fear has definitely got in the way in the past. And it gets me into trouble. Like it's, I think our bodies have good intentions, right? Or our minds is trying to protect us. So there's that fear there. But actually, it's not always the right thing. You know, when Um, when your body's telling you, Whoa, something's not right here, you really have to listen.

[00:14:57] And something I'd love to hear your take on is how do we learn to listen or even to trust ourselves? I believe a big part of listening to your intuition is actually trusting yourself. So how do we do that?

[00:15:12] Beth: You have to start by quieting the mind. And That's what my whole coaching program is all about and where you start is learning how to quiet the mind Because you can't tap into your emotions and your thoughts until you can quiet yourself And block out the noise and some people are really uncomfortable sitting in silence So for those people that don't like to meditate which is sitting there's there's tons of different ways to meditate It's not it's not Sitting cross legged saying ohm That is one form of meditation.

[00:15:50] Another form is just being mindful So if you're out taking a walk look around you pay attention to the trees Pay attention to the leaves to the the birds. Oh, listen to that. Nice bird. Oh, look at that tree Isn't it beautiful look at the colors in it that is being mindful that is taking your mind off of Your problems and that makes you feel good because you're enjoying what's around you and once you can enjoy what's around you Then you can go to the next step and you can just say okay I'm gonna sit for five minutes and I'm just gonna breathe Breathing is huge the amount of time that we spend shallow breathing is Astronomical think about the last time you took a really deep breath in and let it out breathing is super, super important, and breathing in conjunction with the quieting the mind.

[00:16:50] Then what you can do is start jour. For me, journaling is huge because what I'll do is I'll write a question. I use journaling in a couple different ways that might be good for your listeners to know. If you are feeling very anxious and you don't know why, write it down. Just get the energy out. Emotions are energy in motion emotion energy in motion when we don't release emotions They say stuck in our body that energy.

[00:17:18] We are all made of energy We're made of atoms atoms have electrons going around them. So our bodies are in motion at the cellular level That's energy So when you have an emotion, especially a strong emotion like anger or fear And you don't release the energy in some form that energy gets stuck And if it gets stuck long enough, that's when you have back pain and you have headaches and you can even Create cancer cells because the cells aren't dividing properly Because they're they're they're not acting the way they're supposed to act so stress is huge for body We have body, mind and spirit.

[00:18:05] The body needs that energy to be released. So for me, journaling is really important. It's a really important tool. Um, I really don't use it anymore to get emotions out because I just have my other tools that I use in conjunction. But when I first started down this path, I was all in with the, with the brain dump journaling.

[00:18:28] Yes, literally I could, and if I didn't know what was bothering me, I would just start writing. I have no idea what's bothering me. I'm just going to start writing and see what comes out. I can swear. I can, I can call people out. I can do whatever I need to do because no one's going to read it and I'm not even going to read it again.

[00:18:44] It doesn't have to be legible. Sometimes my hand would just be moving, but it got the energy out. And then once I, usually I'm crying at the same time because I'm releasing energy. So once I was done with that, then I would sit with a blank piece of paper. And I'd write a question at the top. Whatever question I had, I would write at the top.

[00:19:04] And I'd focus on it for like 15, 20 seconds. Not very long, just long enough to read it a few times. Then I would start blindly writing. Because what's coming in at that point is, is message from spirit, from your spirit guides helping you. So that's, that is your intuition. When you think about your intuition, your gut, that's your guides around you trying to help you.

[00:19:32] They're always around there, they're always trying to help. So when I write that question, it's a question for them. It's for my spirit. And my spirit troop, I call them. And you can only do that when you release the energy and you are comfortable with, you're comfortable with not knowing who that's comfortable with not knowing because not, not, this is all this whole world quote unquote, I have air quotes world is unseen, but we can feel it.

[00:20:11] Transcribed Have you ever felt the little prickles on the back of your neck? Have you ever like have you ever met someone and you're like, oh, I don't I get a bad feeling from that person

[00:20:21] Rosie: Yeah,

[00:20:22] Beth: that's energy We can't see it, but we can feel it So there's a whole world that is here to help us. We just have to be able to tap into it And some people don't believe it because they can't see it and I say In order to see it you have to believe it.

[00:20:44] They'll say oh, I'll believe it when I see it. I say reverse it I'll see it when I believe it so, um For me learning to trust starts there. It starts with quieting myself Using my tools to be able to tap in and then trusting what comes through Right Part of, part of what I had to learn to do as a medium was, um, was trust what was coming through because I'd say, am I making this shit up?

[00:21:20] Like, how did I, where did that come from? Like, how do I know this, this, this person has all these Barbies and had the house in the pool and like some things I would come up with, I'm like, where did that come from? I had to learn to blindly trust. If you are. Let's say you're busy and you're, you're, um, I don't know.

[00:21:43] You're reading a book, reading a book, and all of a sudden you think of your mother and the book has nothing to do with your mother, nothing to do. And you all of a sudden think of your mom, that's spirit. That's not your brain because you were focused on something else. So the way I look at it is, is, Did I act?

[00:22:05] I just, I guess, Rosie, I just, I guess I just get used to, um, it's practice. It's hard to, I never realized how hard it is to explain, so I'm trying to explain it.

[00:22:17] Rosie: I

[00:22:17] Beth: guess it's just practice writing the question and then writing down whatever comes in without thinking. It sounds weird, but I'm not thinking.

[00:22:28] I'm just, whatever comes into my brain, I'm coming, I'm writing down. And, um, sometimes I think of words that I would never even say, and I'm writing these words down. Wow. So, it's, it's, and that is, that's my intuition, and that, that is from my guides. So, from the time Hannah was little, my daughter was little, I started to pay attention to the way I felt.

[00:22:56] And I started to ask for help. And I started to read more about energy, the science of energy and how it works and how your thoughts work and the power of your thoughts. And I started watching other mediums. For some reason I was very, and now I know why, but I was very drawn, very much drawn to John Edwards, Sylvia Brown.

[00:23:18] And They introduced me to this reintroduced because I think my higher self already was introduced but They reintroduced me to this world of energy and how we can tap in and how no one is really gone It's just their body's not here anymore But their their energy is still here because energy is neither created nor destroyed just changes form So I started to tap into that and I started to see things You That weren't, I couldn't explain anyway.

[00:23:51] There was no explanation other than someone heard me and was giving me a sign. So that's all part of learning to trust your intuition. And so it's, it's being awake. It's paying attention to what people are saying to you. When, now that you're, once you're, once you're trying to really delve into this world, you have to really be aware, be aware of the signs around you, be aware of who you meet and what they say.

[00:24:20] Um, because energy is like attracts like, so what any thought you have, you're going to attract, um, evidence to support that thought. Right. So if you're thinking negative thoughts, Oh, I'm going to have a bad day. Guess what? You're going to collect evidence that's going to support that. And that's the law of manifestation.

[00:24:46] It's a law, law of attraction. It's a law of physics, physics. So, um, it's not just, you know, woo woo stuff out there. It's actual physics. Energy is physics. So I think all this stuff together, just really led me down a really cool path where, um, I'm just being led every single day. It's, it's opening. The path is opening in different ways.

[00:25:14] Um, and I trust, I blindly trust, which wasn't easy for me to do, which is why I love working with people who don't trust because I know exactly I had walls up. I had, I hold people away. No, you're going to hurt me. So all this stuff I knew I, I, that was me, even though I was picking up pieces of energy throughout my whole Hannah's whole life.

[00:25:40] And I say Hannah, because she was the catalyst for this really. How

[00:25:44] Rosie: has life changed for you since you fully learnt to trust yourself, trust others and. Embrace this energy work. How, how is life different? It has

[00:25:57] Beth: changed completely. I am, I, and, and I still get stressed. I still allow all those emotions that humans have anger, frustration, all that.

[00:26:09] But what's different is that I'm able to navigate through the emotions much quicker. So I still feel it. I allow myself to feel what I'm going to feel because it's a human emotion. It's a human. You know, whatever like my husband just got out of out of the hospital. So this past week's been quite nerve wracking Hence the cold because I wasn't listening to myself.

[00:26:34] I wasn't getting enough sleep but I'm able to navigate my emotions much quicker because I trust that I am on the path I'm meant to be on because it feels right. It feels too right to be wrong and So that's how I knew that what I'm doing, um, that's when I decided to walk away from teaching. That's when I knew that it was the right choice because it just felt too right.

[00:27:02] I felt so good with just thinking about doing this work and every time I'm on with the client, it's so fulfilling. So, but the energy work is such a huge, that's who I am. I, the coaching is secondary really because the, the spiritual being that I am and my trust and energy and how it works is, there's no doubt, no doubt whatsoever in my mind.

[00:27:35] And I think that helps my clients because they, they know how, um, strong I feel about it and the evidence to support it is I've got evidence left and right. That since I decided to step away and that was the key I took the leap of faith So everything fell into place. It wasn't like I was like, oh, I don't know if this is gonna happen It wasn't really hands on the steering wheel like oh crap It was like i'm i'm jumping right now because I know I have a parachute And that parachute is my spirit troop and my my higher being my soul knowing That I'm not meant to do this anymore.

[00:28:15] I have other things that I'm meant to do And that came from just trusting my intuition and knowing So so I think what's important for people to understand is How do you feel doing your job? Right. How do you feel not on just one day? I mean in general because we all have bad days at our jobs, right? But in general does it fulfill you and my job as a teacher fulfilled me For a certain amount of time, I was very happy doing it.

[00:28:45] But then I wasn't, so okay, there's a shift. Now I'm not feeling good anymore. So, now it's time to look, where can I go? What do I want? So that's what you need to tap into. How does your job make you feel? How does your relationship make you feel? In general. We all have bad days. We all have fights with our partners, whatever.

[00:29:08] But in general, When you think about it, do you have a good feeling or do you have a bad feeling? If you have a good feeling, then you know you're aligned. But if you don't, then there needs to be a shift somewhere. And that's where you can literally write down on a piece of paper, your desires. That's what I do with my clients.

[00:29:27] What do you want? Let's say you don't, you, there's no, um, no limitation. There's no boundary because they'll say, Oh, I don't think that's ever going to happen. No, stop right there. Let's pretend you can have whatever you want. Let's write it down

[00:29:42] Rosie: Yeah,

[00:29:43] Beth: and then I also have them write down the emotion they feel when they're thinking about having this pretend you already have it What do you feel like and they write those emotions down and then I have them stick it on the refrigerator So that they can add to it.

[00:29:56] They can look at it every day They can sit in it because here's the thing Rosie and a lot of people don't understand this When you think about your problems and when you focus on your problems, you're just creating more of the same If you could get out of the situation by focusing on your problem, you already would have So what you need to look at is the contrast Okay, this is what's making me unhappy.

[00:30:22] So what's the contrast because that's what I want That's what I need to focus on because if you focus on what you want, you're gonna fix the problem Does that make sense

[00:30:35] Rosie: it makes so much yes But I think so many of us fall into the trap of focusing on everything that's wrong. I don't want this. And it, and it's in this downward spiral and it doesn't help us.

[00:30:48] So I love your reframing of, well, okay, let's write down your desires and there's no filter of is this feasible? Is this realistic? Because so often, and I'm guilty of this, we over intellectualize things. Yeah,

[00:31:02] Beth: our brain gets in the way our brain gets in the way it really really does and so that's why I Really encourage my clients to pay attention to what they're thinking is What you're thinking what you want if it's not change it Because that's what you're gonna bring in if you focus on the negative and sometimes like when I'm journaling I'm getting the negative out.

[00:31:26] I'm getting the energy out, but I always end it with a positive you know, a gratitude or something. So I'm not saying that you stick your head in the, in the sand and you don't, you don't acknowledge these emotions and you don't acknowledge that you've got problems, but your focus has to be elsewhere.

[00:31:46] Otherwise you just keep collecting evidence to support the problem that you have.

[00:31:53] Rosie: Yeah.

[00:31:54] Beth: And then you wonder why, why do I keep doing this? Why does this keep happening to me? It keeps happening because you're thinking that I'm not worthy or I'm going to get hurt. Everyone, this guy's going to hurt me. That guy's going to hurt me.

[00:32:07] He's going to cheat on me. So that's what you're constantly thinking. And that's what happens. And then you say, see, I told you he was going to do that, but you created it.

[00:32:17] Rosie: We get in our own way, don't we? And often don't even realize it.

[00:32:21] Beth: Yep. Absolutely. But that's part of the. The beliefs that we have that sometimes are forced on us as children by our parents If you know, let's say mom is afraid of dogs So she doesn't want you to be around dogs because she's afraid of them, but now you're afraid of them But it's not really your fear.

[00:32:39] It's her fear, but it's just been forced on you So some of the beliefs we have aren't even our own beliefs from our own experiences. They're their beliefs from our parents So we have all this crud that we bring drag along in the little red wagons through our whole life. Yeah. And it gets in our way. It does.

[00:32:59] It gets in our way. It's a story, the story we tell ourselves. We need to, we need to tell ourselves a new story and, and, Mm-Hmm. . And it comes from looking at our beliefs. Is this belief serving me? Is it my number one?

[00:33:12] Rosie: Yeah. Is this

[00:33:12] Beth: my belief? And then if it is, because I had experiences. Okay. If you, if you.

[00:33:20] Can acknowledge a bad experience that means you know, you know the opposite Because you know that that's bad. So that means you know, what's good, right? So that's the good news. So That's when you have to say, okay. I have these dueling beliefs and I have a little um, I have a And an exercise that I do with my clients to bring those Opposite beliefs together

[00:33:45] Rosie: right in

[00:33:45] Beth: order to work in your best interest Because we do some people think money is evil because it makes people mean it makes them You know rude and whatever and and then you can also have a belief money's good.

[00:33:56] I can help people I can live a good life. So you've got these dueling beliefs

[00:34:00] Rosie: Yes

[00:34:02] Beth: So it's figuring out how to bring them together and How to best serve you

[00:34:08] Rosie: Yes,

[00:34:09] Beth: we are our own worst enemies. Absolutely and we create we create our reality And we create it by what we're thinking about. So to the listener, pay attention to who you're bringing into your life because they are mirrors for you.

[00:34:22] So if you're bringing people that don't, aren't good for you, if that's who you're attracting, you got to look at yourself. Okay. What is it about me that's attracting these people into my life? Because that's where the change has to happen.

[00:34:38] Rosie: And I love what you were saying about beliefs. And that you have to question, is this my belief?

[00:34:46] This is something I'm so passionate about because we just go along in life. We have this, this set of rules or unspoken rules and beliefs that we just take as the truth. Hey, stop for a minute. You're like, well, where did this belief come from? And like you said, it could be from your parents growing up, or it could be from just society in general and expectations.

[00:35:08] But when you stop and go, hang on a minute, what a load of bull crap. And then what did

[00:35:14] Beth: I believe? Exactly. And what evidence do I have that I've actually experienced in person to support this belief? And if you don't have any, then you need to question that belief. Because you're not even basing it off of your own experience.

[00:35:30] You're basing it off of, like you said, society, your parents, and so much of it is just BS. Yeah. It's just, yes, because we're all human beings here. I believe from the same source, from one source. So we're all souls from one source. So literally brothers and sisters and We treat each other like we are like the worst enemies ever when we don't even know each other you don't even know.

[00:35:54] Oh, yeah right because of beliefs Big and so it's just I think I think to the answer another answer to your question of how has this changed you? I think i'm just awake I've woken up And i'm aware And that's the biggest thing because I used to just walk through my life and just you know You Blinders on and just go day to day to day without really Paying attention to what was going on around me, you know So I think that's one of the biggest changes as well in just a sense of My heart is open.

[00:36:33] I'm just calmer I still have that masculine energy going on, you know get the work done But I've got my feminine energy is coming out where it wasn't before So Yeah,

[00:36:49] Rosie: life changing it sounds

[00:36:52] Beth: Yeah, yeah, and and that's the thing with the masculine energy people like myself who? You can rely on me to do anything because I'm organized and I'm gonna I want to get the job done Well, and I'm gonna put you know, I'm very sequential There's a balance between that in the nurturing the nurturing side and And caring for other people and, um, caring for yourself, you know, thinking about yourself and reframing the word selfish.

[00:37:27] Ooh, I really had to do that because I used to think, well, I'm, you know, I'm going to be in service of other people and absolutely I want to be in service of other people, but only when my cup is overflowing and I've got lots to give because otherwise if I'm giving from a cup, that's not full. I'm resentful and I'm giving because I feel guilty or I'm giving because I don't know what they're going to think of me if I don't So that causes resentment and what does resentment do in the body if you don't release it it festers and it causes illness So all these things it's so important to pay attention to what you're doing how you're feeling what you're thinking And why you're doing what you're doing Is it, is it from a genuine place of, yeah, I have this to give right now.

[00:38:16] I have time to make these cookies for the school fair. So I'm gonna do it. Instead of someone asking me to do it, and I really don't have the time, but I say yes because I feel guilty, and then I'm resentful the whole time I'm doing it because I don't have any time to really do it. You know what I mean?

[00:38:31] So it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good. Instead of saying, I'm sorry, this time I just don't have the time. Or go to the supermarket and pick them up. I mean, so, um, I think we need to really pay attention to what we're doing and why we're doing it. How does it make us feel doing it? If we feel wonderful doing it.

[00:38:51] Rosie: Perfect.

[00:38:51] Beth: You're

[00:38:51] Rosie: in alignment. Yes. Right. And this leads on perfectly to my next, the question that popped up in my head as you were talking is, this is a bit of a, tacky way of saying it, but what are the red flags and green flags? You know, the red flags of, well, you're not in alignment here because sometimes people really struggle with recognizing when they're out of alignment.

[00:39:17] That can be hard if you're not used to it. So what, how do we begin to recognize that? And then what, how do we recognize when we are in alignment?

[00:39:26] Beth: It's the way you feel again, that's tapping it. That's starting from the very beginning of being quiet. Noticing what your body noticing what you're feeling.

[00:39:37] How am I feeling right now? All right. I'm sitting outside and I'm out in nature What am I feeling right now? Not focused on any stressors. I'm just looking at the trees. I'm looking at the birds I'm looking at whatever or if you are a city person and You can't get out into nature listening to calming music All right.

[00:39:58] How does my body feel? It comes from a recognition of how you feel an awareness Number one willing being willing to do the work and being willing to um Take the time to notice Or if you're watching a sunset, we can all see sunrises and sunsets. Okay, if you're a sunrise sunset person Perfect. How do you feel when you're watching it?

[00:40:25] That's that's what you want to tap into Versus we can all we all know how we feel when we're stressed We can feel the tightness in the chest or the headache or whatever. So that's where it starts. It starts with awareness Me sitting here right now. I'm completely calm and I know what this feels like. I know what my body feels like being completely calm so When you're not calm, like if I'm not calm, I have some place I can go to in my head very quickly You To tap into what emotion I'd rather feel.

[00:40:58] And usually for me, it's the ocean. So I visualize myself or near water somewhere cause I'm a big water person. So that's what your listeners can do too is, is anchor. It's called an anchor, anchor yourself to something you'd rather feel. How would you rather feel? I'd rather feel peaceful. All right. What makes you feel peaceful?

[00:41:19] Then you have to figure out for yourself, what, when, when have you experienced feeling peaceful? And if you're not sure, cause some people are like, I have no idea. Okay, imagine it. Imagine it then. Start from there. Imagine what not having the tightness in your chest would feel like.

[00:41:38] Rosie: Cause you know

[00:41:38] Beth: what it feels like to be uncomfortable.

[00:41:41] So say, alright, well I wonder what it would feel like to not have this there. And because I guarantee if you know what it feels like to be uncomfortable, you do know what it feels like to be comfortable or you wouldn't realize that you're uncomfortable. So even though you may not consciously be aware, I can't think of anything right now.

[00:42:02] If that's the case for anybody, then I would invite you to start journaling and get the energy out because then you'll be able to tap into, okay, what makes me feel calm? So if you're really one of those people like, I don't even know what makes me calm, I have no idea. Then you need to grab a notebook and a pen, and you need to get the energy out.

[00:42:23] And just start writing. I have no idea what to write, but I'm kind of pissed off at my boss. My boss did this today, and just go with it. Sometimes I do three pages of that.

[00:42:32] Rosie: Yeah.

[00:42:32] Beth: And get the energy out, and then try it again. Okay. Take a deep breath. All right. How, how, when have I ever been calm? What would it feel like to be calm?

[00:42:43] And then try it again. So most of us can find some part of our life where we were calm. Something. Yeah. And if you can't, then you need to start looking, go out for a walk, listen to different types of music, then start searching for what makes you calm. Because really that's the biggest thing. All of this, the trust that the intuition, all of it starts with being aware of what you're thinking and how you're feeling.

[00:43:18] And for some people that's scary, but that's the way out of the dirty diaper. Because listen to your body, your body knows first, your brain. Tells you otherwise, but your body always knows so if you're feeling pain somewhere or you're feeling a Tightness in your chest or you're feeling something. That's energy.

[00:43:42] That's trapped Don't let your brain tell you. Oh, you're fine because you're not otherwise you wouldn't be feeling that way Something needs to be released And it's up to you to release it. No one else can fix you and You it is not your job to fix anybody else

[00:44:00] Rosie: Hmm

[00:44:02] Beth: You're actually doing this a disservice to someone when you're trying to fix them because they need to learn those lessons themselves

[00:44:11] Rosie: Yeah, that's a powerful way of putting it

[00:44:14] Beth: other ways They just doing the same thing over and over again because imagine if you you just keep saving somebody and they're gonna keep Bumping up against the same lesson time and time and time again.

[00:44:26] So because you're uncomfortable watching someone you go through a challenging situation, you're going to deny them learning that lesson earlier. So you're actually prolonging their agony. And I know as a parent, it's hard. I have, she's not, my daughter's nonverbal. It's hard to watch her suffer, but this is her path.

[00:44:46] It's her life. It's her, they're her lessons to learn. Can I be there to encourage her and hold her up? Absolutely. But I'm not going to take her lessons away from her.

[00:44:57] Rosie: Hmm. Um, that's a trap I've fallen into, especially with my sister, you know, just trying to help and fix the situation because she's 10 years younger than me.

[00:45:07] And it is really difficult to see someone you love in particular struggle and have a hard time. Yeah. But like you say, you're not really helping them when you do that. You are doing them a disservice. So that's a huge, that's been a huge shift in my thinking and it's.

[00:45:22] Beth: And then also look at it this way.

[00:45:23] Next time your sister is going through a trying time, ask yourself, okay. What is, what is her soul learning from this lesson? What is she learning? Is she learning to, to persevere? Is she learning if she doesn't do what she's supposed to do, this happens? Is there a natural consequence that occurs? All this is learning and ultimately it's her choice to either learn the lesson or not.

[00:45:50] It doesn't mean you can't help her, you know, but helping is different than enabling. Right?

[00:45:57] Rosie: Yeah. That's a big one. Yep.

[00:46:02] Beth: It's hard, especially for parents that have kids that are struggling and you want to have as a human being we want to help each other and we can as long as it doesn't get in in the way of someone else's progress and learning.

[00:46:15] Rosie: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. I agree. Mm hmm. There's a tradition on this podcast. There's a question I like to ask all my guests. And I'd love to hear your answer. So can you tell me what does freedom mean to you?

[00:46:31] Beth: Freedom, freedom to me is being authentically me being in true alignment with my higher self is pure freedom.

[00:46:49] So I think if I were to think of one word, if I could say freedom equals, I'm going to say alignment.

[00:47:00] Rosie: That really resonates. I love that.

[00:47:03] Beth: Because if you're aligned, you're doing, you're feeling free, you're feeling relaxed and you're feeling fulfilled and purposeful. And that for me is the ultimate freedom. So yeah, I feel it in

[00:47:17] Rosie: my body as you say that. And like, this is something I want to help other people to live in alignment, women in particular, because so many of us are out of alignment and it's heartbreaking.

[00:47:35] That's the only way to we

[00:47:37] Beth: need to do or what society tells us we're supposed to do. We always put ourselves last and you know, everyone comes before us and yeah, yeah. And none of that is unless, so if that is you. And you are in alignment doing that, then that's perfect. Like if you feel it's, that's the key.

[00:47:57] Everyone's got their own path here. So there's, there's a job for everybody that that's what they're meant to do. So jobs that we would look at and say, Oh, I would never do that job. There are some people that came here to do that job, to learn lessons from that job. So someone who feels purpose and fulfilled true purpose and fulfillment from putting other people first.

[00:48:23] Um, God bless. That's your, that's good. Um, but it's when you, when you know like, Oh, I don't know, this doesn't feel right. Something's wrong. Like I got a little twitch, you know, like, Oh, something's gone wrong here. I don't feel quite right. That's when you need to

[00:48:40] Rosie: question. Yeah. And it can be really scary going on, on this journey, but as someone who's on it, cause I think it's a, it's a continuous journey.

[00:48:48] Oh yeah. It's amazing. Life is so much better. And I'm just, I think impatient is the word I'm impatient to just get other people on this journey. I can't force people, but I'm just so fired up and I want other people to experience life like this because living in alignment, it's beautiful. And it's so grounding.

[00:49:10] And I have never felt more joy.

[00:49:14] Beth: How long have you been on this path?

[00:49:17] Rosie: Huh? ? That's a good question. I think I've always, I guess you'd say go I status quo and quent consciously. Oh,

[00:49:26] Beth: consciously, yeah.

[00:49:28] Rosie: Okay. Yeah. 'cause like you said, it's kind of always been there consciously, I would say 10 years. Really? Wow.

[00:49:37] Yeah. And it's. But I've got braver as time has gone by and actually fully embracing that. And it's tough, you know, but I think the most recent thing I did last year, I was in a very well paying job, so the university had never been paid so much in my life. My boss was wonderful, but I wasn't happy. And I kept.

[00:50:03] I was talking myself out of it like, no, no, you got good pay and everybody's so proud of you. And you've got this amazing title. I'm like, hang on a minute. I'm falling into this trap again. And eventually I just went not by, I put in my notice. I was respectful. You know, I really respect my boss. She's lovely.

[00:50:23] So look, I just, I need to do something else now. I need to take the next step and it's not here. I just felt amazing, you know, and here I am, I've got my podcast, which that's not earning money, but I've never felt more fulfilled. I'm starting a business, supporting women, launching an online community for them to help them live in alignment as not about the money.

[00:50:46] It's you know, you're saying, pay attention to how you feel. Oh, I feel amazing. And yeah, it's the journey started 10 years ago in a conscious way. This stuff doesn't happen overnight. I can't tell anybody how to live, but I highly, highly encourage people to lead with curiosity and just allow yourself to consider what do I truly want from life?

[00:51:13] Yeah.

[00:51:14] Beth: What do I actually want? Yes. What do you actually want? So I, one of my clients, when I asked her that, she said, you know, I have no idea. Right. And that's where I was. She had no idea. She was, she was just going along. She's a nurse. Uh huh. And had just been going along, doing, and didn't, like, it was like a question that, that she was dumbfounded.

[00:51:37] Like, I, I honestly don't know what I want. So that's where you need to start. Like what do you want? What do you want? And it, and it, it could be money. Money can come too. Right, right. I get that. Um, because once you're living in alignment, everything's going to fall in. It's like abundance just rolls in because you're living in alignment.

[00:51:59] And I agree with you with the podcast because my podcast as well, it isn't making any money, but the amazing people that I'm meeting

[00:52:08] Rosie: are so

[00:52:09] Beth: energetically aligned with me. It is amazing how I'm pulling in the people I'm meant to pull in.

[00:52:16] Rosie: It's

[00:52:16] Beth: really been a very something that started just for me wanting to make connections with people.

[00:52:22] Rosie: Yes

[00:52:23] Beth: Has turned into like the best thing because I absolutely love just talking. I never would have been like that You know when I was teaching kids, I'm like, I don't want to talk to the adults. I'm working with kids, but yeah Yeah, how much fun talking to all these different people from all over the world Different time you know time zones all over the place, and it's just been really really cool to know that we're all the same Mmm.

[00:52:50] We're all the same. We have the same problems. We have the same Energy is energy. You know what I mean, so it's almost like it mind blowing sometimes when you think about it that we're all just Living this life in in I Don't know. I don't even know where to go with that, but it's just really cool. I don't know I don't even know where to go with it.

[00:53:15] I just am loving meeting these people that are just like me but they're you know, some are male some are female and they have different jobs and

[00:53:25] Rosie: No,

[00:53:25] Beth: I don't know. It's just been really really very eye opening for me for someone who is great quite sequestered in my life You know, I never really met people from all over the world before.

[00:53:36] So again, here we go. Beliefs. There you go for, you know, what beliefs did I carry about these people that I've never even met? And now I'm meeting people and my experiences have been wonderful, you know, so they're evident, more

[00:53:51] evidence.

[00:53:52]

[00:53:52] Rosie: Oh, Beth, thank you so much for being so generous with your time and wisdom. I just, I've got so much from this conversation and it's just so refreshing to hear different points of view.

[00:54:05] Um, and I love your take on what freedom is. Freedom equals alignment. I like, like, honestly, it's the first time I've heard that out of all the guests I've asked this question. I love it. And it's so simple, but it really resonates. So again, thank you. I can't wait to talk to you again, and I wish you all the best.

[00:54:30] Beth: Thank you.

[00:54:31] Rosie: Ding, ding public service announcement do not click out of this episode, please. Very important. I just discovered looking at my analytics that only 9.9% of you. Uh, following or subscribed to the podcast, what is going on? So please. If you listen to this podcast, just tap the follow button because it's actually the best way you can support the show.

[00:54:56] It tells apple podcasts, Spotify, all the people that this podcast is worst worth listening to. So it helps spread the word. That would be amazing. It'll take you two seconds. It's the button at the top of the show page that says follow, give it a tap and I will be. Forever grateful catching next week.

[00:55:14]