51: Follow your bliss crumbs with Kathy Stowell

[00:00:00] Rosie: Welcome to episode 51. Thank you so much for celebrating with me last week. The release of my 50th episode. I'm still buzzing from that. It's amazing. But what I wanted to say before. Rolling the intro. Is thank you so much to the seven people who went on. To apple podcasts and left me a written review. I am just overflowing with warm and fuzzies right now.

[00:00:28] The feedback I have got is amazing. And I just want to read out. One of the reviews from the dark Duchess. So I don't actually know who this is. But listen to this. Rosie's enthusiasm is infectious. I've really enjoyed her talks across so many different topics with great stories and authentic life. I really recommend this to anyone who is even the least bit interested in freedom. All of us. And how to live our best lives have fun.

[00:00:58] Thank you.

[00:00:58] The duck Duchess that just brought such a smile to my face. I think I'm going to start reading out these reviews at the beginning of each episode, because I want to share. And maybe you'll get a bit of FOMO and leave your own review. So if you're an apple podcast listener, scroll down to the bottom of the show page, you'll see a button to write a review. Now. If you can't be bothered doing that, please just make sure you are subscribed or following the show.

[00:01:29] That is the easiest thing. And it's free that you can do to support this show because it actually pushes out the podcast to more people because it tells apple or Spotify, whoever. That people are enjoying this show. I realized the other day that the number one podcast I listened to, I wasn't even subscribed to I'm like, what the hell? I kill us.

[00:01:50] So please make sure you're following or subscribed. Um, write a review. The easiest way to actually leave a review was on my website because you don't have to log in and fuck around. So if you want to check out my beautiful new website, go to the pursuit of freedom.com.edu. Leave me a voicemail. There's a little microphone in the bottom right-hand corner.

[00:02:10] Anyway, I'm going to shut up and roll this episode

[00:02:13] g'day, and welcome to the Pursuit of Freedom podcast. I'm your host, Rosie Burrows, and I'm on a journey to find my freedom so that I can help you do exactly the same. Join me each week as I share the stories of everyday people who've found their own path to freedom.

[00:02:30] I'm not going to focus on job titles and accolades because I don't care about that stuff. And neither should you. I want to uncover what truly makes you tick. Who are you when you step away from society's expectations and follow your heart? I still haven't figured it out yet. Have you? Either way, buckle up because it's going to be one hell of a ride. Welcome back to the pod. I am at a friend's place today. Not in the van because it is sweltering hot here in Brisbane, Australia. It is 38 degrees or a hundred Fahrenheit and the van is a metal box.

[00:03:09] It gets hot. So I'm here enjoying the air con. You might hear background noise because people live here. But I know it's going to be a great conversation. And with me today is Kathy Stoll. She lives in Canada with a husband and two kids and her beautiful dog who we were just talking about before we hit record.

[00:03:29] And Kathy has done it all from moving to the sticks, having a home birth, homeschooling her children, to finding a way to monetize her online presence as a blogger back in the day. And then becoming an online coach before it was cool. And before it really was even a thing. I'm so excited to have you here, Kathy, and I can't wait to dive into your story.

[00:03:51] Thank you for joining me today.

[00:03:53] Kathy: Thanks for having me. I love that intro. Slight correction. I actually have Two dogs,

[00:04:00] And actuAlly had two home births. Not that it's a contest, but yeah that, those were pretty cool

[00:04:06] Rosie: Thank you for the correction. Yeah. And I like, I can't wait to dive into all that.

[00:04:11] But let's, let's rewind the clock a bit. This is something I always like to explore with my guests. I'm curious to hear what younger Kathy was like. As a little girl growing up, who were you? What brought you joy? What were your fears?

[00:04:26] Let's dive into it.

[00:04:27] Kathy: my God. What a fun question. So I call little Kathy, little Kathy Sita.

[00:04:36] Rosie: Aww.

[00:04:36] Kathy: Yeah, it's what my um, uh, we grew up a lot. My dad was a pilot, so we traveled a lot and my mom's from Peru. And that is where I really felt family. I'm a first generation Canadian, so we didn't have any close relatives close by. So when we go to Peru, it felt like a part of my soul was put back together again.

[00:04:57] And they would call me little Kathy Sita. And funny, like when I go back today, me and my daughter just went last March and they still call me Kathy Sita. But it's always what I refer to that Inner child that needs some nurturing sometimes and she was such a little ham. You couldn't believe it. I was a kind of kid that when my parents had friends over.

[00:05:26] I would put a big production on for them with their kids. I would make a big play and I would not only write it and direct it. I would also be like the main star and my most famous. Production I made was called, it was about a blind girl. So I got to play the blind girl. I was really on that little house on the Prairie kick and it was called lazy eyes,

[00:05:53] Rosie: Yeah, wow.

[00:05:56] Kathy: but yeah, I

[00:05:57] Rosie: Sounds

[00:05:57] so creative.

[00:05:58] Kathy: I was a very hyper creative child and yeah, just never bored. I was always making like a business or a play or like a magazine or something. Yeah, I was. Very busy, hyper creative kid, for sure.

[00:06:15] Rosie: So is that carried through to you as an adult, that hyper creativity?

[00:06:21] Kathy: Yes. Very much so. very much so. Um, yeah, like I always say that I never feel depleted in energy cause I don't want to say never do, right? Of course I love to do puppy cuddles in the middle of the day, just to get replenished, et cetera. But I always just talk to my clients that the importance of filling up, I call it your bliss buckets with whatever guilty pleasure that you're craving.

[00:06:52] And just really prioritizing, without question. What is it that you're craving to do? And luckily being an entrepreneur, I get to wear many different hats. So I feel like I'm never bored. There's a lot of creative opportunities and yeah, as I go through my journey, I just really noticed the therapeutic effects of like creative activity, creative expression, and how important it is for me to do what I call following the bliss crumbs, like whatever It gets me excited is um, it's on to something.

[00:07:29] So it's just going with that. And I think, I think that's part of the reason that we were talking right before we hit record, that I do get to make dinner in an hour here. And that's honestly one of my favorite parts of the day. I love cooking. I love making something from nothing. And I also love eating really good food.

[00:07:47] Rosie: Hear, Hear.

[00:07:54] I think creativity really ties into breaking the status quo,

[00:07:58] Kathy: Ooh.

[00:07:59] Rosie: the norm, breaking the rules. And I like this reaction. I feel like you, I feel like you're a rule

[00:08:07] breaker and I'm just wondering where did that come from?

[00:08:11] Kathy: Okay. I do have a story related to this. So I met my husband and we fell like instant love. It was just like, I was single my whole entire life. And then I met him and Right before I turned 30, and I'm like, Hey, you're the one I was like, holding out for. So it was very instant recognition. So when I, when we got married um, I kind of had a traumatic, not to, yeah, it was kind of like a crazy, Incident at my wedding day involving my dad.

[00:08:48] And it just brought up a lot of like dad issues. And so I knew I wanted to have kids. And I went through a deep womb cleaning, like I went on a cleanse, but I also wanted to get some body work done and explore like what is with that weird relationship and patterns, right? Like he's had a crazy childhood and I still admire him, but it's just, there was a lot of patterning that I wanted to study.

[00:09:21] like nip at the bud and, you know, just any kind of like generational trauma I wanted to really explore. So I decided to go get some acupuncture. And in that first visit, he diagnosed me with having a blot throat chakra. And he's like, you need to open that up and express yourself.

[00:09:43] So he gave me the homework of creative play. And that's when I joke that he's the one who created this. Crazy, hyper, crafty monster. And then I was just like, Oh my God, I just started, I read the book, then the artist way, I don't know if you've read that before.

[00:10:02] Rosie: I haven't, but I've, it's on my list. I have it on my bookshelf and I still haven't

[00:10:08] Kathy: Yeah, Julia Cameron, I read it like, this is oh my gosh, like 20 years ago. But yeah, she has some really cool homework in there that involved like morning pages. So

[00:10:20] I would be writing every day for pages upon pages, taking myself for an artist state, like just going into an art supply store and just, it was almost like being a kid again.

[00:10:29] And also just. Exploring with curiosity, like what is my stance on things? What are my priorities? Like what, you know, what is it that I truly, deeply enjoy? Yada, yada, Yada. And um, and then I had it, I had kids and I thought that was cool because it was like, trading again, something from nothing.

[00:10:48] And it just, I felt like I kept having to create, kept having to create. And it was very, like healing. It was very healing. It's such an important life skill to be honing, like the problem solving like, let's get creative. And when you said, I think you said breaking the status quo or, breaking.

[00:11:09] Yeah. And I just felt that's essentially what I was doing. I was breaking the status quo of, How is showing up in like my relationships and like standing up for myself and speaking my truth. I have that skill set and I hope to inspire my kids. And I know I have like, not I have, but I see that in them too.

[00:11:29] Like they're very creative as well. And, they take initiative and yeah, it is really. important for sure.

[00:11:37] Rosie: And do you think, I'm not sure if you call it a desire or a personality trait or what, but do you think this need to break the rules or break the status quo, whatever you want to call it, or you were saying honing and problem solving, is that something we're born with? Or is that something we learn?

[00:11:57] Kathy: That is interesting because sometimes I feel like like regressing back to wanting to stay in the status quo as I get

[00:12:05] Rosie: I hear you. Yeah.

[00:12:07] Kathy: Because I remember again when, when I met my husband, we both, We're like these late bloomer ravers, like we met each other and we went crazy. It's like, Oh my God, let's do crazy shit together.

[00:12:25] And so we discovered the rave scene and the city we were at, and we got like super adventurous in that regard and got embraced by that community. And we were just like, At this frequency, that was kind of cuckoo. And we just got audacious. We're like, let's do this. And that's when the idea of like, let's do this.

[00:12:48] Let's start a hobby farm in the middle of nowhere. We had a very um, alternative wedding. We just started questioning everything like. Why do I need to have bridesmaids? Why do we need someone to marry us? Let's just get our buddy here to marry. Like we just, why do we, you know, we have to give out wedding favors.

[00:13:11] Why not ecstasy pills?

[00:13:12] Rosie: Yeah. Yeah. made the rules?

[00:13:17] Kathy: We just went wild. But I'm mellowed. We've mellowed. We're both like in this like really comfortable, steady rhythm. And we've been married now for like 20, we called it bliss fest. 2000. When did we get married? 2002? That's right. Yeah. So I don't know. I feel that there's always like aspects to us who are really kind of like itching to just live like this alternative, perhaps existence, but I do think it's like falling in love.

[00:13:50] It's about timing and Kind of what your soul feels called to do. Like when I met my husband too, I was feeling very adventurous. I knew that I wanted to have kids one day um, but I was waiting for that recognition. And then I feel like when our souls collided, we Met each other at the perfect time in his life too.

[00:14:11] Like Had I met him two years prior like we wouldn't have much in common. We're both like on these weird different paths. So just trusting the divine timing of everything. And I don't know, get stuff out of your system. Maybe that's what happened. I got that chakra, I guess it was a little bit blocked then still. Like I'm kink, whatever's like holding, you know, your authentic. Self within and then just following like what those, like I keep saying those little bliss crumbs are like guiding you towards.

[00:14:43] Rosie: I really love that. Can you tell me more about it?

[00:14:46] Kathy: Yeah,

[00:14:46] Rosie: What exactly

[00:14:47] are bliss crumbs and how even do we recognize them and follow them?

[00:14:52] Kathy: Yeah. Yeah. There's so many incidences where I'm like, Oh my God, this is totally what I mean by that. But probably the biggest incident when I was like, Oh my God, what a concept was when I found out I was pregnant. I had very overdramatic cravings, like for food. And just as equally dramatic repulsions of food, but also of like people and things and stuff and scenarios.

[00:15:19] I was super picky and I drove my entire family and friends crazy because they wanted to like kind of give us stuff. Like, you know, I got this, Exorciser is taking up my living room. Why don't we put it in your living room? And I'm like, yeah, I was being very difficult. So when I call the bliss crumbs, it's like, what is your soul craving?

[00:15:44] So with my pregnancy, with both my pregnancies, I was really craving corn on the cob, and I just went with it and I ended up like freaking out my husband. I was eating like six of them a day, so I didn't know if it

[00:16:00] Was like my Peruvian heritage or like what, but that whole corn meme, remember that corn meme that came out? It's

[00:16:10] Rosie: Yes, actually. Yeah. Mmm.

[00:16:15] Kathy: phone. My whole entire family was like, please stop. I'm like, this is the best song ever. This is my soul song. But later I found out that corn on the cob is actually quite high in folic acid. So folic acid is one of those prenatal vitamins that they Keep pushing on you when you're pregnant, but I couldn't take it.

[00:16:34] Cause I would get nauseous whenever I took prenatal. So I was just like, I'm just going to eat really healthy. And I didn't realize that corn was high in folic acid. So I thought that was pretty cool. So it's just goes to show there's some wisdom in whatever it is that you're feeling like, Ooh, I need to have that.

[00:16:49] Or I'm craving that. Another way. I could define it. It's almost like we both have a mutual love of dogs. It's like, when you think of like wagging your tail, like you think of something, who was it, who was it? Oh, today. I got today, my husband texted me, he was in a meeting all day. And it's can you get me a sandwich on your way home from pickleball?

[00:17:12] That's something that is really wagging my tail these days. And. the guy made me the sandwich and he handed it to me and I just did this like hand clap glee squeal thing. And he's you're so excited about this sandwich. I'm like, yes I am. So it's just kind of like what lights you up like that and explore what could, what could it be?

[00:17:36] So for me, it's just, it's been a crazy morning. Like I was sharing with you early, so I didn't have time to eat a proper breakfast. That's why I was so excited. But whatever, just gets you a little like, Ooh. That's like tickling my fancy in a way, and I can't put my finger on it. Let's explore it.

[00:17:50] And then just explore that bliss crumb, even just a little tasty num. And get creative with ways you can dabble in it, or you can go like even all like full Monty into it. Even if it's as little as cuddling with your puppy on the couch, closing your eyes and daydreaming about partaking in that activity or that trip or that career path or, getting some, like a new puppy or something like whatever.

[00:18:21] I

[00:18:21] Rosie: I'll have one of those. Yeah.

[00:18:22] Kathy: I was, I've been telling my husband, I'm like, I think our boys need a little girlfriend.

[00:18:29] Rosie: ha.

[00:18:29] Kathy: Yeah. And then just Just seeing it if what could be the, the little gem in there and exploring that and don't question it too much. Because that's one thing too I'm learning like the more I get older it's just less overthinking and more just going with what that tail wag is guiding you towards.

[00:18:49] Rosie: Yeah. What advice could you give to recognizing these bliss crumbs? Because I, if I'm thinking back, and I've had times in my life where I, it's almost as if I'm pushing it down and ignoring it. I'm not aware I'm doing that, but you look back and go, wow, what was that about? Do you have any

[00:19:14] Kathy: Yeah.

[00:19:15] Rosie: around that?

[00:19:16] Kathy: Yeah. You know, It's probably fear that's holding you back either your own or other people's and it's just projecting it upon you. There's a lot of, especially as women, we have a tendency to be falling into patterns of people pleasing. Well, you know, I don't have time to do that because I have all these responsibilities and I got like, you know, My volunteer work or, you know, my kids, yada, yada, you know, need me to do this and that.

[00:19:41] It's so funny. Like I have been when I was growing up, I had all these nicknames, right? Like Kathy Cita. And then my mom would always say to me, she would call me Simbra Wensa. And throughout my whole entire life, I thought that meant, she was trying to say, Oh, You cute little schnookums and then one day I was watching a movie in Spanish and they had subtitles and the one

[00:20:04] Rosie: Yeah,

[00:20:08] Kathy: And then the subtitles translated, you dirty, skanky whore, so I had to get to the bottom of this. So I had to Google, what does this mean? Scene is without, but I went and said, is embarrassment, like without shame. So I'm like, yeah, I'm going to live without shame. And so I would take up. All these crazy lessons. Like I'm always taking lessons. Like I just signed up for conversational Spanish.

[00:20:44] Cause apparently I have a huge herd of Peruvians visiting us here in Canada this summer. So I just want to keep my Spanish sharp. My mom would come out here to visit us. each spring. May is the time when she comes to visit. And she was like, why are you taking horseback riding lessons? Like, why are you doing this?

[00:21:05] Like, She always would be like, Kati, you know, what if you fall? Or I remember when, I can't remember what lesson I was taking. I think I was taking like improv classes or something. And she would be like, Why would you do that? She's always kind of like, her kind of thought was you're not being a good wife.

[00:21:22] You should be at home. You should be, I don't know, maybe I'm putting like words into her mouth. Right. But um, so I think when you're exploring Ooh, I can't do that. And then just noticing the excuses that come up and then maybe journal about it and ask yourself, Okay. What is the real fear here? And just start thinking like really imaginatively, what if this worst fear came true and then what, and then ask yourself like, truthfully, you know, could you live with yourself if you don't, this worst case scenario came true, but also like, what is the flip side?

[00:21:58] What kind of joy could you

[00:21:59] Rosie: Yeah.

[00:22:00] Kathy: What could that look like? How might this like enrich your life? And then just ease into it if that's helpful, get a book on it, sign up for a lesson and just, do, you know, I always tell my daughter, you know, a girl's always allowed to change her mind, but like getting a tattoo, you can always like just try it and see if you like it.

[00:22:20] And

[00:22:20] uh,

[00:22:22] Rosie: Right. That's, That's a lesson I'm constantly relearning. Just because you've made it, you made a decision and now you've changed your mind. That's not a problem. You can change your mind and try new things, explore.

[00:22:37] Kathy: know. I saw my kids like, I can't remember. I think it was my son. Like I just, like I was saying, like my son was born in, we had two home births and he was born in our bathroom in that little that sticks place we were living in. And I remember it took me like an hour to discover he was a boy.

[00:22:58] And I live in Canada, so when my husband finally flipped him over and he goes, Oh, a little pee pee, my first, my first thought was, Oh, dear God, not hockey. Like, I am not a sporty mom, but I supported them in exploring, like sports that they might like. And I remember my son tried out, I signed him up for basketball cause he really loved playing basketball with his buddies, but he didn't like the organized aspect of it. And I'm like, And then my husband's we paid some money and what are we showing them if you know, and I'm like, you know what? I don't want them to worry. If it's not speaking to him, he's done exploring that he could just play for fun. So just, that's just an example of I support my kids too.

[00:23:51] And knowing that, don't worry about it. Let's just try different things. And my daughter, she's 19. So she's. Going to, taking university classes now. She doesn't know what she wants to do. I'm like, just as important as figuring out what it is you love doing. Let's figure out too, what you don't care for.

[00:24:05] And so she did like physics last semester. She was like, Hey, good team. Mama physics guy. And yeah, so yeah, it's just important seeing what you like, what turns your crank and then just do more of that and less of what kind of like, Makes the water leak out of your eyes. Yeah,

[00:24:27] Rosie: Yeah.

[00:24:28] Kathy: like physics.

[00:24:30] Rosie: A

[00:24:33] big part of this journey for me has been learning to trust myself.

[00:24:38] Kathy: Yeah.

[00:24:40] Rosie: Because when those feelings crop up like, Oh, I don't want to do this. So it doesn't feel right.

[00:24:45] Kathy: Mm hmm.

[00:24:47] Rosie: I often fall into the habit of pushing it down. Like, No, I've invested all this time, money, energy into this. I have to keep going. Or so and so told me I have to do this.

[00:24:59] I don't want to let them down. This is what's expected. You can't possibly do something that makes you happy. Everybody works in the nine to five, they grind and that's the way it is.

[00:25:09] Kathy: Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

[00:25:12] Rosie: So how have you learnt to trust yourself? Or have you always been really good at that?

[00:25:17] Kathy: I remember when my mom said something to in front of me to someone I Got D. She never worries about anything, but that was Pre having kids, Kathy, even today, I remember I was playing pickleball this morning thinking, this random thought of this weird random thought of on my, this is gonna sound really dark, but on my death bed, I could totally hear myself saying to myself, I wish I didn't worry so much.

[00:25:47] Cause I now worry about everything. I am a worry wart, but I'm consciously making the decision not to worry every day. I am making that decision. I actually got an audio book written by Dale Carnegie, I think in like 1938 called how to stop worrying because I worry so much. I'm like, I need help here. So I'm making that conscious choice with the trusting myself.

[00:26:13] I love that you say that again. I keep going back to the home birth, but when my daughter was about to be born, we decided on the home birth. We got like a kiddie pool blown up and for the living room. And I bought this awesome as his artist named Nikki McClure. Have you ever heard of her?

[00:26:31] Rosie: No.

[00:26:32] Kathy: Oh, you should Google Nikki McClure and then trust she has a poster and I purchased it.

[00:26:39] What's the work? You know, When you chisel and then you make

[00:26:43] Kathy: prints.

[00:26:43] Rosie: I, oh, yeah. Lino Prince.

[00:26:46] Kathy: Yeah, she does those things. She comes out with these gorgeous calendars.

[00:26:49] Rosie: Oh, I just

[00:26:50] looked her up. Yeah. Wow.

[00:26:51] Kathy: find a trust one? There's one called trust. Yeah. So the one trust. So this is funny. When I first got pregnant, this is embarrassing. Did you find it? Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

[00:27:07] Rosie: is that it? Yeah. Wow.

[00:27:09] Kathy: I got that and I love it because I had short hair like that, short dark hair and that girl's pregnant in the image. And she's wearing a snorkel and she's dipping her foot in the pool. And it reminded me of giving birth in this kiddie pool and just trusting.

[00:27:25] And I remember It was really important at that time from the books I was reading of surrounding yourself with positive stories around the birthing

[00:27:35] Rosie: Hmm.

[00:27:36] Kathy: and remembering we as women are designed for this animals are giving birth a lot of times throughout the world at every moment. And just to trust the process.

[00:27:46] So it's I always go back to that and just being reminded that, I use birthing analogies a lot in my work, and I'm trying to like, Transition them to pickleball analogies, more like I'm really like milking them to death. No pun intended. Um, Just, I remember being like finding out I was pregnant and between you and me and everyone listening, Edie, my daughter wasn't totally planned.

[00:28:15] Like we knew we wanted to have kids, but we wanted to go to prove first. But anyways, it's just so overwhelming when you think of, Oh my God, I'm going to have a kiss. So that's why we have like nine months to ease into it, to dip your foot into the pool, to take it breath by breath. To just allow our brain to process. Every day, it's just a little bit more pregnant, a little bit more pregnant.

[00:28:39] And then I remember hearing that, the women are working in the fields and the actual date, a day of giving birth is just like one day, one day you're going to give birth. So it's just take it day by day, moment by moment and giving birth was just so cool because such a metaphor to life.

[00:28:59] It's just, you take it breath by breath and um, Yeah, just knowing that we were designed to do like challenging stuff

[00:29:08] Rosie: Ooh,

[00:29:08] Kathy: just uncomfortable, you know, it's just take a breath by breath and knowing that we're designed to take things like three minutes at a time, breathe through it every three minutes.

[00:29:18] So yeah, just trusting that I will survive, take it breath by breath and the less you resist. the smoother things go and just surrender to the process and just anticipate all the lessons and the cool metaphors you're going to come out of this with.

[00:29:32] Rosie: When we first met, you were saying there's a lot of parallels between business and the birthing process.

[00:29:37] Kathy: sure. Yeah.

[00:29:39] Yeah. I talk about it. Quite a bit. Absolutely. Yeah. And then I use all these silly little like, like analogies, like instead of a sales funnel, I call it like a sales uterus.

[00:29:51] Rosie: Yeah.

[00:29:52] Kathy: Yeah. Yeah. Birthing your dream clients. Yeah I just love, I'm just so fascinated by the topic for sure.

[00:30:01] Rosie: So talk us through this entrepreneurship journey, because am I right? I'm trying to remember you came from a marketing background.

[00:30:09] Kathy: Yes.

[00:30:09] Rosie: right?

[00:30:09] Kathy: Yes. Yeah. After uni, I know that's what you call it down

[00:30:15] Rosie: Yes.

[00:30:17] Kathy: I worked in marketing and advertising for five years. And I had the best jobs. I had the best jobs and I did marketing a lot of it for medical professionals. So like, um, one of our clients was a hair transplant doctor. So that was really interesting.

[00:30:37] Um, Laser eye surgeon. Um, And then I met my husband and then we started, that's when we started talking about moving out to the country. And he was also very encouraging. Cause while I was working in advertising I was also in my off hours teaching yoga. And then I said to my husband, I'm like, I want to teach yoga full time.

[00:31:01] So he was super supportive of that. And that was right around the time we were deciding how we're going to make the transition from living in the city out to the boonies and where we were moving everyone, like you would throw a rock. And you would hit either a potter or a yoga teacher in the head.

[00:31:20] Just oh, darn, I have to figure something else out. So I didn't know how it happened, but I decided I wanted to make and sell handmade soap. So I started a soap business and I'm like, yeah, I could sell it at farmers markets there. And so I made hemp soap and I called it doobie clean.

[00:31:45] So yeah, that kind of re kindled my entrepreneurial flame.

[00:31:51] Cause like I was saying, like I was such a little ham growing up and both my parents were entrepreneurs. My mom worked from home as a seamstress and my dad was this crazy bush pilot. So I appreciated. The lifestyle of having that flexibility and I was I think maybe subconsciously wanting to offer that to my kids, like being at home, have the kids just kind of freestyle chicken style kids while I work from home.

[00:32:25] And, and I think I feel very tickled that I was able to offer them that, because I think that's, whatever, there's pros and cons to everything, but I was able to offer them a similar childhood to mine in that regard, that, we were able to stay home for the most part until they're ready to go to school.

[00:32:42] But yeah so, I started selling soap when we did the move, but then I didn't want to make soap when my daughter was born anymore, just because it wasn't, I had to, it wasn't fun. I tried with the baby. So I sold the soap company and what I did then is I started sewing a lot clothes.

[00:33:04] Making yarn selling that online and that's got me dabbling in the online space and that's when I started blogging and just documenting following my bliss crowns. It's Oh, my God, I went to a local farm and I got some alpaca fiber and I'm going to spin it with some crazy sprinkle stuff I found and just like showing them the creative process.

[00:33:28] And then what happened from there that I was noticing this too wasn't very sustainable for me because I would be creating these clothes and the yarn when my daughter was in bed sleeping. And then in the morning I'd have to go to the post office and ship out all this stuff. It just was very depleting.

[00:33:49] So then I just started meditating on what is it that I want to do. And I knew it was going to be related to my blog because I loved connecting with like minded women all over the world. And yeah. So I thought I could scale my sewing and I created an online sewing course,

[00:34:08] and that's when I was like, Ooh, this is getting warmer.

[00:34:12] This is getting warmer, and I really enjoyed not only the, you know, the passive income, I say that because it took a lot of work to create this e course, but it was cool how In the morning I would wake up and be like, Oh, someone purchased this course. So I'm like, cool. This was really kind of still kind of like baby days of the internet.

[00:34:34] Kind of. And, but what I really was like made my heart go was when I would start receiving photos of these women wearing the clothes that they came up with, because I made the patterns, I called it the backwoods mama's so camp. So we all made the same outfits, like what you wear. To go live in the backwoods and they were, they just had, they all look so proud and the whole shtick too was how to sew even when you have little rug rats scurrying along.

[00:35:08] And the whole premise was releasing perfection. Breaking down again, this big, overwhelming project down to the little baby bite sized pieces that you could do five minutes here. You could do five minutes here. You could do the cutting of the fabric when the kids asleep and then the sewing machine when they were awake.

[00:35:28] So that was the premise. It's just create some time, have fun with it. Don't stress out too much and just do every little, little effort adds up. So when I would see their face. Wearing their little outfit in the photos they sent me. I'm like, this is what I want to do. I want to help moms get to that face place.

[00:35:47] Rosie: Yeah.

[00:35:49] Kathy: That's when I decided to get certified as a creativity coach. Cause I noticed that moms being creative beings creating dinners, creating children, creating placentas, creating all those things. They experienced the same points of resistance. That creatives do, like an artist would, or a writer is just that same kind of like, you know, the stumbling block.

[00:36:14] So the tools I picked up, I was able to apply and help moms with to reacquaint themselves with what really that their soul desires and what they actually want to be doing outside of being an awesome mom.

[00:36:28] Rosie: What a journey.

[00:36:30] Kathy: That's kind of where the coaching thing began. And it is still kind of weird. But I love it so much. This is what is it?

[00:36:38] Rosie: I lost you

[00:36:39] Kathy: Over a decade later, I'm still doing it.

[00:36:41] I'm still loving it. Like I wake up at six in the morning like, Oh,

[00:36:45] Rosie: Yeah.

[00:36:46] Kathy: like

[00:36:47] Get to do some more.

[00:36:48] I love it. Yeah.

[00:36:50] Rosie: So what sort of coaching are you doing today? Is it along the same veins as what you were doing before?

[00:36:55] Kathy: totally. Yeah. So I was coaching these moms. And again, the premise back then was like your purpose. What do you want to be doing outside of being a mom? And then a lot of them started saying, I want to do what you're doing. I want to help other moms explore self care and invite more simplicity into their days so that they have time to explore like fun stuff.

[00:37:19] What turns them on, their bliss. So I actually then was like, I opened up a coaching training program and I still run it today. It's under, it's recently gone through like a new kind of metamorphosis. It's called mom coach school. And that led to then helping them establish an online presence for themselves and sell their coaching online.

[00:37:42] So that's. My main niche now is helping moms who are coaches make money selling their coaches coaching online.

[00:37:51] Rosie: That's powerful. And listening to you. It's clear that there's been a flow, like you, you're currently doing one thing, but you didn't start there. And I know there's people listening who probably feel pressure if they're looking to start a business, to pick a niche and probably feel like you have to stick to that.

[00:38:18] You cannot change. So what advice do you have for, I guess, pivoting?

[00:38:26] Kathy: Yeah,

[00:38:27] Rosie: if pivoting is the right word. Yeah.

[00:38:28] Kathy: totally. The thing is um, there's this thing on the internet that you could, it's called the way back machine and you type in your domain name. And then it shows the calendar like all the way back to whatever, like the early 2000s. So I did that with my website and then it gives you a screenshot of what your website looked like on that day.

[00:38:49] So I was able to go way back to, let me think, my son is, he was born in 2008. So even back in 2005, like even before he was born. And I could see my tagline, how it's morphed over the years. I've made these pivots like, you know, um, you know, I was a mom coach and then I was helping moms who are bloggers.

[00:39:11] And then I was coaching. Like I just kept going through all these interesting little like pivots. And then I was actually like, my niche was trade offs, but you can see through the tagline. It's not even that far of a stretch from what I'm doing today. I think one of my taglines was um, cultivating uh, simplifying motherhood, cultivating bliss.

[00:39:37] And I think the essence is still at my core of what my business shtick is now anyway. If you want. Any of my Instagram things, it's always like simplicity, keep it simple. Like it's always just, I sound like a broken record. And it was basically what I was focusing on back then.

[00:39:57] It's so like translatable to whatever you do. So not to be weird, but I always use the metaphor too, of like you're dating, right? So if you pick a niche and it's the wrong niche, it's like, When you have a partner back in the day, like not marriage material, but there's always like this like little kernel of them that you carry with you.

[00:40:20] Even if you can't remember their name, it's just like, Oh, like not to be weird, but I will be. Um, It's like, sometimes I look at my kids even, and they'll have this like little twinkle in their eye and it reminds me of like randoid data. It's just like this recognition of. This little gives you a little insight of what's into the future.

[00:40:42] This recognition, there's something about you that is giving me this like weird, like peek into a portal of my destination. You know what I mean? So just trusting the magic out there and releasing any attachment of how you expect things to turn out and uh, just kind of have fun with the ride.

[00:40:58] I always even tell the students who come into mom coach school. I'm like, I'm so excited for you. Cause. We can't even guess we're going to be a year from now, but I know that these tools are going to be helpful for you regardless what you end up doing. You can use them yourself. You can use them on your kids when they're not looking.

[00:41:16] Kathy: You can use them on your clients no matter like what occupation you end up doing anyway.

[00:41:22] Rosie: I like how you said you're going to release the attachment. I find that really difficult. I'm like well, I committed to this and it's not working, but I have to keep going. And then you just, you end up in this downward spiral. Like you're getting in your own way. Is there something that could help people like me release that attachment, get over it, move on.

[00:41:48] Kathy: Oh my God. Honey. I love it. I love it. Oh yeah. I got many tricks up my sleeves. One of them that's the freshest and this is actually came from my, the last coach I worked with and I had the thing with coaching is reminding you of something, within yourself anyway. And you have to remind yourself a lot, like almost every day.

[00:42:08] So I was, again, I was playing pickleball and I had this thought. I remember it, she suggested to me, and I remember thinking it because, and we shared my birthday's coming on Friday, so I'm making a big stink. On Instagram. It's my birthday, you guys. So I'm having this crazy birthday sale on this like bundle of e courses and this thing, like this other offering.

[00:42:32] And here I am being all like type out the email, expecting it to be this flood of people purchasing my birthday bundle and it's been. That's my cricket sound.

[00:42:46] Rosie: Yeah. Yeah, I got it.

[00:42:53] Kathy: And I remember something this coach suggested because she saw me too, like having this like tight grip. If I sent out an email, I have this expectation. I did this little fancy calculator that I'm going to get this return. She's like, I want you to keep like a ball of string or a ball of wool of yarn on your desk.

[00:43:17] And then every time you send an email, pull out a link and then snip it. And it's just this symbolic releasing attachment. It's out there in the universe, huck that piece of string and then move on to the next thing to focus your attention on. So just even if there's like a physical like symbolism, like a ritual that you'd be like, I'm cutting the cord, releasing attachment in the moment I'm putting all my good intention and my desire of being helpful for these people who are struggling with something that I know I can help them.

[00:43:48] I'm going to speak from my heart. That's my send sound effect. And

[00:43:55] Rosie: love

[00:43:56] Kathy: then, okay, moving on to the next thing and not let that dictate what my worth is as a human being or my, me being a success of life or not. It's just on to the next thing.

[00:44:09] Rosie: Yeah, you mentioned self worth. I think that's a big thing, especially for women. We do tie it to a lot of things

[00:44:18] Kathy: yeah. Totally.

[00:44:20] Rosie: we shouldn't. Yeah.

[00:44:25] Kathy: busts me all the time. And I actually, and again, to remind myself, I did an, another Instagram thing quite recently is I can't remember how I phrased it, but basically, yeah you're, you're, you're Monthly revenue does not equate your self worth or something to that effect.

[00:44:39] Cause yeah, we need to remind ourselves constantly of these things.

[00:44:42] Rosie: Your monthly revenue does not equate to your self

[00:44:46] Kathy: Um, I think I put it much more sophisticatedly. I might have.

[00:44:52] Rosie: It's still powerful.

[00:44:53] Kathy: Yeah. Oh, thank you. I'm going to quickly look it up because it's going to drive me cuckoo pants here.

[00:44:59]

[00:44:59] Kathy: Wait. Oh yeah. Our coaching revenue does not define your worth. Your coaching revenue does not define your worth. Yeah.

[00:45:07] Rosie: And that it's relevant to whatever it is you're doing, whether you're coaching or something different. I think it really ties in with how we define success.

[00:45:17] Kathy: Totally.

[00:45:19] Rosie: So as a business owner, it often is we obsess over revenue and a lot of revenue is, Hey, I'm successful.

[00:45:27] What does success mean to you in a general sense?

[00:45:30] Kathy: Yeah. I love it.

[00:45:32] My intake form for new clients, I do ask them that what is your definition of success? Both monetary, but also non monetary for sure. So thank you for asking me that. Um, For me, it's just like, well, like kind of like the nitty gritty. I. I love having freedom. I love having that ability to do what I want when I want. Um, Like I remember a few years ago, like my husband was having some like work challenges and he's like, you got to make some more money. So I took like another job. I did not last long. I was just like, I did not like having to be at a particular, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it.

[00:46:21] Like I've had clients who could not wait for their maternity leave to end so they can get back into that rhythm. And I see the appeal. I remember when I used to love it, but now I just feel like I really am such a huge home body. So I love the flexibility. I love having. Like my kids I tend, I have to admit, I coddle them if they're not feeling well, I'm like, yeah, just stay home, no biggie, stay home, rest up, yada, yada.

[00:46:45] So for me success just looks like just feeling like I am making an impact on my client's life, meaning I am able to support them in a way so that. They're not feeling like alone. I remember at the very beginning of my coaching journey one into my coaching certification, one of our exercises was to do like a doodle or a drawing of what our business.

[00:47:11] Vision is and I had this like vision of all these women forming like a ring circle together like holding hands and this like in my head. It was like getting bigger and bigger. So I feel like that to me is success. It's hard, almost hard to put into words. This one lady just recently sent me a message in Instagram.

[00:47:32] I treated myself to mama only retreat. And I spent so much time walking along the shore, listening to your podcast. And I felt that you were away on this holiday with me because you're offering me so much inspiration to prioritize this time for myself and to shake off the mother guilt of leaving my kids alone with.

[00:47:52] My partner yada. So that to me, it just she was one of the women in our circle. We're each supporting each other and it's getting bigger and bigger because my clients in turn are passing like the buck along. So just remembering that I think is success and keeping showing up and not giving up is success.

[00:48:11] Rosie: Such a good reminder for me. It's something I'm grappling with at the moment. I'm in the middle of launching an online community for women. And my mind has immediately gone to right, you know, I got to have people sign up and get some revenue in da. That's not who I am. I'm not money focused, but here I am obsessing over, okay, how many signups am I going to get?

[00:48:34] What's my monthly revenue going to be?

[00:48:36] So I have to pause and go, no, actually. Does success look like for me? Cause it's gonna be different for everybody. And I think it's very similar to what you were saying

[00:48:46] Even if it's this one, one woman that I can have an impact on, that's amazing. So that's what I'm trying to remind

[00:48:56] Kathy: no, for sure. Yeah. I've been like a big part of, my content pillar, like it, meaning if you go check out my Instagram feed, like I was saying, my broken recordness, the whole, what was I saying before? Simple, Simple, simplicity. Another one is niching down. And I know that could be controversial, but it's something that I talk about a lot because I'm curious, What's the trigger there that people, you know like, so I have a lot of like different.

[00:49:26] Approaches to it and perspectives on what niching is. And lately I've been talking a lot about when I talk about niche, I call it your private and your public niche. Your private niche is what you hold in your heart. And it's who do I help? What's the main struggle I helped them through and what results do I bring them to?

[00:49:46] And I encourage my clients try to put the result in one, in either one of three categories, either Like stronger relationships, either with themselves or their partner or their kids or whatever better, health, right? Like weight loss or, whatever health or more money. , even though.

[00:50:06] Life is very fluid. They could straddle a couple of those three, but just choose one and just talk about that. And when you start thinking about it, IE, so my niche is I help mom coaches who are struggling with getting clients online so they can make more money. So that's just like the more clinical, but you can't help it when you visit this every day to start.

[00:50:25] Getting a little poetic about it , but really so they can feel freedom. Like I was saying, I love the freedom so they can feel like they're making an impact so they can feel like creative and that they're having fun. So keep journaling on that and all those feely type words.

[00:50:43] Challenge yourself to live into those words and use that in your marketing. Like, you know, Me, freedom.

[00:50:49] Rosie: Yeah.

[00:50:50] Kathy: laughing at it. Cause my poor kids, I keep getting them to take like video of me, like feeling these feelings rolling their eyes. I'm like, like video of me driving this like really cool, like snow bank here.

[00:51:00] Right. So that is like still holding your clients. Results or what their wishes are in your heart, but you're being more pragmatic in terms of this is what I'm helping you with. So what is this niche that you're helping this community is helping them with?

[00:51:17] Rosie: See, this is something I struggle with too, articulating it in a really succinct way. Cause like you say, it is poetic. I don't want to make it clinical. Ew. Ew. But I guess as a business,

[00:51:26] Kathy: Yeah,

[00:51:28] Rosie: that is a necessary step,

[00:51:29] Kathy: I don't even have to tell anyone. You don't have to tell me if you don't want. I even tell my, my clients is behind the scene right on a sticky. And put it behind your screen, like your screen of your computer.

[00:51:39] Rosie: Yeah. I

[00:51:40] That's clever. And I, I'll explain it or describe it as best I can. It's for women who. I like to say, we've got a bit of fire in us, but our, our fire's being put out over the years. Like we're just, we're maybe embers right now. But we've, we just want to reignite.

[00:52:00] We know life isn't where we want it to be. We've got feelings of, Oh, there's got to be more to this. And I just want to break free. The community is called the break free community because

[00:52:11] it's breaking free from the status quo is something I talk about a lot. Society's expectations, all these. So called rules.

[00:52:20] So I want these women who are feeling ready to explore, but they're feeling a bit alone, not sure where to start because I really believe in the power of community. Yes, I'll be in there supporting these women, but I think it's the community

[00:52:34] Kathy: Oh

[00:52:35] Rosie: most value.

[00:52:37] Kathy: my gosh. All I can see is that little doodle I drew in my head dancing around with your doodle.

[00:52:41] Rosie: Love it. I love that so much.

[00:52:45] Kathy: That sounds awesome. Yeah.

[00:52:49] Rosie: Yeah. Thank you. That was good for me to practice talking through it. That's something I'm getting better at. Now there's a bit of a tradition on this podcast. There's a specific question I like to end with, and I love that you've mentioned freedom a few times because that leads so well into this question.

[00:53:06] What does freedom mean to you?

[00:53:12] Kathy: First thing that came to my head is that song, I'm free to do what I want, Old Time. Oh, I love that song. That's a 90s flashback. Yeah, freedom, it's free to do what I want, whenever I want, Amy Old Time.

[00:53:33] Just to quote that, I just, listening to my body and like honoring it and yeah, just having that flexibility, I just luxuriate in that and like having the rhythm that my body and my soul just is a healthy rhythm for the season of my life.

[00:53:53] Yeah.

[00:53:54] Rosie: Beautiful.

[00:53:55] Kathy: Thanks.

[00:53:56] Rosie: Kathy, thank you so much. I've got so much value from this and I know the listeners have too. I'm just trying to think back to all the amazing things you've said. Something that's, that's really stuck out for me was these bliss crumbs, following the bliss crumbs. I love that. And you were talking about filling up your bliss buckets and notice your excuses, right?

[00:54:25] Because we all have excuses. Tap into your creativity, your inner child. I think the message you have is really powerful. And I love that you are serving women or mums to be more specific and, building a coaching business that helps them create the life they want. I feel like that's really what it's about.

[00:54:47] Kathy: Oh, thank you. Really quick. When we got married, my husband put a little note in my, in our wedding ring

[00:54:55] and he wanted it to read I will nurture your inner child. Made a typo and it reads, I will neuter your inner child.

[00:55:03] Okay. I have to share that story with her now.

[00:55:12] Rosie: Oh, I love that. That's really put a smile on my face.

[00:55:18] Kathy: so welcome.

[00:55:20] Rosie: you, Kathy. I look forward to going back through this episode, re listening. It just, it's been amazing. So Thank you,

[00:55:29] Kathy: you, darling. It was so fun. Absolutely.

[00:55:33] What a cracking episode it was today. As always I'm toot my own horn. Anyway, make sure that you are following or subscribed to the podcast. And can I ask you a favor? Could you please share this episode with somebody who you think would enjoy it? Which in my opinion, Would be everybody. Alright catches next week for another awesome episode about.